[michie31]

Me and this guy have been in love with eachother for 3 and a half years, things have been up and down but we always seemed to sort things out and try and make things work. We talked about everything, like getting married and having kids etc. A few weeks ago he ended things and told me it was over for sure. We went with no contact for 2 weeks, and then a couple days ago I went on instant message and he asked why I didn’t answer his text message. I never did get it, so I let him know, and then that night we talked for a good 4 hours and he even called me saying he misses hearing my voice, and just kept complimenting me, or he would sigh and I would ask him what’s wrong, and he would just say nothing. I am so confused I havent heard from him for a day and a half, and I just don’t know what to think? Should I delete his number and any contact I have with him and move on, or should I see where things go?

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

Break ups aren’t usually a straight line between two dots. They’re usually filled with confusion, regret, trying again, and a host of other emotions and behaviors. Your boyfriend has broken up with you, but was missing you. His missing you doesn’t mean he wants to get back together again. It just means he wanted to hear your voice or see you for comfort — and then move on. His telling you he’s missing your voice isn’t the same thing as saying he wants you back. 😥

The fact that you describe your relationship as having been up and down over the last three and a half years, isn’t a good sign. I’m not sure how old you are, but usually a relationship goes in one of three directions: towards a monogamous commitment, away from a monogamous commitment or up and down and eventually towards a break up. Yours is the latter.

I’m sorry you’re hurt. Break ups are supposed to hurt and they take time to get over, but you will. I hope I was able to clear up the confusion for you. See what you can learn from this relationship and use that knowledge so that your next one is better than the last. 😉

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[michie31]

Thank you so much April for taking the time to read this. I do realize there are other fish and the sea, and I will take the time to start meeting new guys! Heartbreak is probably one of the worst feelings and I guess it does take time to heal, I mean he still wants to be friends so I don’t know what the future will hold and if it’s meant to be, it will happen but I can’t sit around waiting for a guy that may never come around! You helped me alot today thanks, and I will be sure to pass the word around to my friends about your website, and I’ll be sure to follow you on facebook!
Thanks again,
Michelle 😀

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

I’m glad I was able to help. One last hint: It’s not a good idea for the two of you to be friends. The breakup is too raw and a real friendship requires some neutrality that the two of you just don’t have. It’s also a lot harder to get over heartbreak if you’re not friends than if you are. Signals get misread and communication gets muffled and confused when you try to stay friends with an ex.

Give him the opportunity to see what he’s lost in you — and give yourself the opportunity to see what else is out there.

[Member]

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