[Mariee86]

Hi. I’m a 26 yo female who recently got dumped by a guy I was dating for about 3 months.
Things were going really good, he introduced me to his family (dad, sisters, uncles, aunties and even nana) along w his work friends and others. Told me he really likes me, went on heaps of dates and outing together etc..
His 26 and is a dr and works hard and has good values etc.
A few weeks ago I got annoyed that we weren’t being as intimate as what we were when we first started dating and also said I didn’t want to be scheduled into his life (which wasn’t really the case I was just annoyed)
His response was that it was a huge commitment and that he wasn’t sure if he wanted that and he wanted to slow things down.
In saying this he took me to parties, work dos, family bdays and we hung out a fair bit.
He also said that he sees potential with us and that’s why he wanted to slow things down. His a strong Christian, I believe in god but don’t attend church etc.
Anyhow he came into my work with a few of his friends and we ended up talking. He ended up telling me that he wasn’t ready for a relationship and he didn’t want to hurt me and that his sorry.
I asked him if he was sure about this and he said no, not really but he didn’t think it was fair on him or me to feel like this.

I called a few days later and sent a txt, he said he a part of him would like to catch up but he wasn’t sure of right now was the right time… His a pretty deep thinker and I really like him.

I’m not sure what happened… I know things moved pretty fast but I wasn’t pushing things.
I really like this guy and felt that we had a good thing going and want to get us back together.
I’m just not sure how…
Advice is appreciated

[AskApril Masini]

Here’s where your mistake happened:

[quote]A few weeks ago I got annoyed that we weren’t being as intimate as what we were when we first started dating and also said I didn’t want to be scheduled into his life (which wasn’t really the case I was just annoyed)
His response was that it was a huge commitment and that he wasn’t sure if he wanted that and he wanted to slow things down.[/quote]

When you didn’t like the way things were going, you criticized him by telling him that he was “scheduling” you into his life and you didn’t like it. 😳

If you’re going to date a successful man, you have to understand that his work is important because it has to do with his success, and his success is crucial to his self-esteem and his success in dating. In other words, if you don’t want to feel like you’re “scheduled in”, then make yourself so important to him by being the amazing woman he can’t get out of his mind, so that when he does get to see you, he’s counting the minutes until the next time the two of you get together. 😉

Hope that helps. 🙂

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Mariee86]

I think that this may have been the reason he card it quits.
How do I get us back together?
I reflected and shouldn’t have been so emotional about something that wasn’t a big deal
So do you have any tips for me?
I spoke w him Monday and said I would like to catch up and he sounded happy to and suggested coffee / drink. I said well give me a buzz when you’re ready. I didn’t want to seem forceful or needy
He told me his was busy for the next week but agreed on meeting up.
Also when we do how should I go about getting us back together without coming on too strong making him run
I really hope I haven’t lost this guy…

[AskApril Masini]

[quote]How do I get us back together? [/quote]

Be the girlfriend he wants to have! 😉 I know that sounds simplistic, but it’s true. 😉

[quote]So do you have any tips for me?[/quote]

Think about what makes him happy, and focus on him. You can buy and read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], the book I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep the guy! 🙂

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Mariee86]

This probably sounds simple but how should I go about getting us to meet us to start with?
Also should I say sorry for being over reactive?
Is there anything that I should or shouldn’t be saying..??
I really enjoy his company and I know he enjoyed mine…
Since the split 2 weeks ago he hasn’t contacted me, but answered my call and when I suggested coffee he said that would be nice.
It’s almost a week since then and he hasn’t contacted me yet.
Thank you

[AskApril Masini]

You should wait for him to ask you out on a date — whether it’s coffee or otherwise. You said he’s got a very busy work schedule, so a week may not be enough time for him to make room for someone he’s not sure he wants to date any more. In other words, consider what’s going on for him. If you don’t hear from him in a couple more weeks, you can figure out a way to bump into him by accident, but my advice is not to chase after him. 😉 Also, understand that he may have said he was interested in coffee with you just to avoid a confrontation or hurting your feelings. While that’s not honest, it’s something a lot of people do when they want a break up — they just want to get out of the situation they’re in and they’ll say things (It’s not you, it’s me, for example.) just to extricate themselves. If he doesn’t call after a month or more, then you’ll know that that’s what he was doing.

As for what you should and shouldn’t be saying and doing, again, you should buy the book I suggested, Think & Date Like A Man, because it’s going to help you. It’s only $8.99 and it’s an automatically downloaded e-book, so you can get it now. Start reading this weekend, and take your mind off of his not calling by reading. 😉 Here’s the link again: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. 😀

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Mariee86]

Ok so I’ve purchased your book and I’ve started reading it…
I just can’t help but have nervous energy in my stomach.
Prior to this guy I was engaged and in a relationship for 6 years which ended not so good (we are friends now so that’s ok)… And I think that’s why I over reacted about how much time we weren’t spending together…
I’m reading this tonight before I head to bed, I just wish that I knew he would call.
He told me that his last relationship was a year prior to me and that he wasn’t in love with her(or loved her)… And I’m a bit worried that because we were only together for 2/3 months that he could brush it (us) aside.
In saying that i have (a little) hope because he introduced me to so many people and told me that he doesn’t usually do that.
When he broke up w me we kissed goodbye and I just said that it was stupid… Considering that we were holding hands and obviously like(d) each other…
I guess I’m looking for a, it’s more than possible he’ll be back in your arms…
(if that’s what you think could happen)

[AskApril Masini]

I know you want me to tell you what the future holds because you’re very invested in having a particular outcome, but that’s not the way things work. 😉 You dated for three months, and that’s the amount of time when most people decide if they want to continue dating or not. It’s entirely possible he decided you weren’t his cup of tea, and that happens sometimes. And now you know the mistakes you made in the relationship and you can correct them if you get a chance with him, and definitely in the future with others if you don’t get a chance with him. And…. you’re reading Think & Date Like A Man, which, if you pay attention and practice what’s in the book, you’ll be in great shape.

As for your question, If he calls you, then you’ll know you have a shot. If he doesn’t, then you’ll know you don’t. It really comes down to that.

In the meantime, my advice is that you consider dating others so that you can focus your energy on the future, and not stay invested in whether or not he’s going to call, making yourself crazy and anxious. 😉

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Member]

Posts