[CloudEmpire]

Me and my girlfriend of five/six months recently split up. She moved away and long distance took its toll on us. We drifted apart and I think the stress of her new job made her angry and she started taking it out on me. (I think. Mere speculation.)

Anyway, I wallowed after the break-up. Stopped eating, couldn’t sleep, etc. I was too scared to go on social media in case I saw her living life up whilst I struggled.

But, finally, I managed to get back to being myself. Living without her, and being (semi) happy whilst doing so.

She asked for space, so I gave that to her. I stopped messaging her.

But, if I don’t speak, she just messages me.

*Her talking about photos I’m tagged in on Facebook* “You look really adorable in that outfit you wore the other night. Such a cutie.” But, then the following day, I ll message her, for example “How are you today?” And she ll reply with “Alright. I’ve heard enough now. We’re done here. I’m just still really mad at you.”

There is so much confusing back and forth here. I haven’t a clue what is going on. I’m being pushed away one day and pulled back on the next.

I think that I just need some insight from an outsiders perspective. I have no idea what is going on and I am getting more and more hurt by the day.

Thank you, April.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Social media can be a great tool and fun entertainment, but it can also be an onus. In your case, it’s prolonging a relationship after a breakup, and because the contact is so disjointed, it’s upsetting you. The hard, bottom line reality is that the two of you are broken up and if she wants to date you, she’ll let you know. Instead, she’s being social and civilized when she feels like it, and then putting up incongruent boundaries — when she feels like it. You’re going along with it all, trying to make sense of it. For your peace of mind, the best thing to do is to make the break up more final. You’ve broken up in person, now you have to break up online. 😳 My advice is to unfriend her, disconnect from her social media accounts and disconnect her from yours. This may seem harsh, but it’s going to give you more clarity — and peace of mind. It will be hard to do because it’s really a second break up, but since the two of you are broken up, living in different cities, and not there’s no chance of getting back together the way things are going, I think this is a good idea. If you want to send her a last letter (snail mail), explaining what you’re doing and why, then go ahead, but the important thing is to take care of yourself. An online break up will do that.

I hope that helps.

[Member]

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