[purplecow]

Hello!
I have a very touchy situation. I’ve been best friends with a girl for about a year now, and at first, I only saw her as a friend, but I developed feelings for her pretty quickly after spending time with her. I’m a rather shy kind of person, and she was the one that started talking to me. As we hung out more, I’ve found that we have so much in common, and that just makes her that much more attractive to me. She’s told me that she only sees me as a friend, and that she wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship. I haven’t come out and said that I have a crush on her, but she’s more-or-less figured it out. I don’t want to try to have that conversation until I can feel confident that I’m in the best position to bring it up, and by that, I mean that I want to try to get in better shape and become confident. In the time I’ve known her, I’ve found out that she likes a certain body type, and my thinking is that by achieving that look and by improving my personality, I’d have a better shot at her being more open to a relationship. What advice do you have for me? Should I even try to do this? As I wrote it, I could see that my plan sounds really far fetched, and most likely won’t work, and I’ve tried to get over her, but she’s just so perfect for me that I can’t help but like her. Any advice will help
Thanks a lot!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[purplecow]

We’re both 19

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you should ask her out on a date now. I understand you’re worried about rejection, and you want to cut your losses by trying to improve your body, but you can still do that while you’re dating her — if she says yes! It’s always a little scary for people to realize that friendship is very different from a romantic relationship because it seems like escalating the relationship to romance, means risking the friendship. But the reality is that you’re not really friends — she’s someone you have romantic feelings for — that’s not friendship. My advice is to go for it. If you don’t, you may regret it — especially if she starts dating someone else. And Don’t talk — just do. Ask her out for a real date and see how things go from there.

I hope that helps!

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[purplecow]

Thanks! It definitely gives me something to think about. If I was to go down that route, and she agrees to go on a date, I was just wondering what I could say/do on that date that I haven’t already said/done. It wouldn’t really be a first date in the traditional sense, so I’m just curious what you would recommend.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I don’t know what you’ve already said and done, so I’m not sure how to answer your question about doing something different. But since this is a first date, definitely call it that when you ask her out, so there’s no confusion. And hit all the points that make a get together, a date! For instance, pick her up, bring her a flower or a bouquet or a little gift, pay for the date, hold hands, or kiss her good night — this will escalate the relationship into dating, and eliminate any friend zone confusion. 😉

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And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[purplecow]

Thanks for the advice! I’ll give it a try

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good luck! 😀

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[AntaraNarang]

[quote=”purplecow”]Thanks for the advice! I’ll give it a try[/quote]

Right decision. Go ask her out. lots of luck.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Yes, lots of luck!!

[Member]

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