[ailisr]

Hi April,

My problem starts (the same way most good stories do) with a boy. I”m in Year 10 and he’s in Year 12, so you can kind of see where my problem starts. But that’s not all. I don’t see him often, because he doesn’t go to the same school as me. His school is all-boys, and mine is all-girls, but we are sister schools.

I’ve know him for about 7 years though, and all because of a camp we both got to, which goes on for 5 days. We both go every year, and actually got sent by the same teacher (extra-curricular teacher).
I didn’t really get close to him until camp this year though, even though we’ve always hung out with the same group of people.

He’s very nice and very friendly, but hasn’t really shown interest in [i]that[/i]way towards me. I’ve caught him staring at me a couple of times, we’re comfortable with hugging, and at a dance that was on the last night of camp we danced together at least 5 times, but, being a teenage girl, of course I notice small things like that and over analyse even though they don’t actually mean anything.

I really like him a lot though, and I know that the usual advice would probably to be to stay away, since he’s older. But there’s only two years between us, and he’s really not that kind of guy. He’s quiet, though funny and intelligent and whatever he says is always well thought out.

We’ve hung out a lot, though never the two of us, and now Valentine’s Day is coming up and our schools (since they’re sister schools) offer the girls school an option to send boys roses on Valentine’s and I’m wondering if maybe I should send him one. If I said it was from me, it might be very awkward, because, like I said, he doesn’t really see me like that. But if I wrote that it was from a secret admirer on the note that goes with the rose, he might get his hopes up about some other girl.

I’m not just infatuated with him, because I’ve known him for so long and I’ve been infatuated with other boys or the idea of other boys before and I know this is different, so I’m desperate for him to see me as more than some kid.

I don’t see him much during the year, but this year our group has made a whole lot of plans to all catch up together so I probably will see him a reasonable amount.

So, what should I do about Valentine’s? Do i send him a rose or not? And how do I get him to see me as more than just a friend?

Thanks,
Ailis

p.s. I’m friends (though not close friends) with his sister

[AskApril Masini]

The way to get a guy to notice you as more than a friend is to flirt with him! There are lots of ways to do this, like smiling at him — and holding the smile for more than you normally would. You can compliment him, laugh at his jokes, be sure to make him feel special, while not throwing yourself at him or being too available. Guys want to chase after you, but they want to know that you’re interested. This gives them the confidence they need that they may not be rejected. 😉 So try flirting with him and letting him know, this way, that you’d like to be a date or a Valentine — not just a friendly young woman he happens to know. 😎

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