Hi AskApril,
I am in a horrible situation where I can’t stop dwelling on my past relationship after my girlfriend broke up with me. I started dating her around 7 months ago, and she had fallen head-over-heels for me. One obstacle was, however, that we both go to different colleges which are separated by about 3 hours. This was my first serious relationship, and I was a bit slow with opening up to her.
After a great summer together (we were separated by an hour’s drive during the summer so we had multiple visits), we had to move back to college, and during the week after the move-in, I could tell something was bothering her from talking with her and texting her on the phone. After two weeks of college, she called me and said she “wasn’t sure about US,” and that she wasn’t ready to settle down. Rather, she said she was stressed with her college situation, and at the same time she felt like she was missing out on the college experience, and she wanted to experience that. She also mentioned that she feels bad that she’s the only girl I’ve dated and encouraged me to try meeting other girls. Also, (I have been suffering through some depression from college stress and thinking about graduation), she said that she wanted me to be happier while we were dating.
When she notified my one friend of the break-up, I found out she told him that we were “taking a break.” And that “If we get back together, it was meant to be.” However, this was immediately after the breakup with emotions flaring.
I have since had a couple conversations with her through text and I try to make it seem like I’m happy and getting over her, and I notice that she seems really happy. I asked her during our breakup if she had met someone, and she said “not really,” so I wouldn’t be surprised if she is already seeing someone else.
It has now been a little over 3 weeks since the break-up, and I am absolutely not over her, and I am constantly beating myself up about things I could have done differently to have made it work. I still absolutely feel like we were meant to be together because we were so similar and yet opposite in a lot of ways.. I feel like she was the perfect girl for me. People have said it just takes time, but with my lifelong habit of dwelling on the past, I honestly don’t think I will get over it. Part of my wants closure, but part of me wants to remain hopeful that we will end up back together.
Help? Should I write her? Call her and talk about it? Send flowers? or just forget about her (doubtful to happen).
