[flybird]

The other day I was sitting outside the campus library and a girl came and sat at a table beside me. I never saw her before but she caught my eye. I wanted to talk to her but she was busy working on her school books and I didn’t want to bother her. I was hoping that when ever she was done and walked away I would talk to her then, but a couple of her friends walked out of the library and she joined them taking that option away. I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again but I hope I do soon. Thinking about it I’m hoping that this could be a good stratagy because if I do see her again I can ask her if that was her I saw that day at the library wearing a white and blue dress and she’ll be flattered that I remembered her and the dress she wore. Which could maybe increase the chance of her liking me? Good stratagy or it won’t make a difference? did I just srewed up from the start?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good strategy! 😉

[flybird]

I’m a senior in college and I’ve never had a girlfriend. I can’t say I haven’t tried. Since freshman year in high school I’m like 0 for 27 or maybe even 0 for 30, hell I’ve lost track of how many girls I wanted to date over the years. 85 – 90% of these girls had boyfriends and the other handfull turned down my date offer. There was never a girl that showed interest in me so I never had it easy finding a date. I see a girl I like and I go after her, it would just be nice for once that I pursue a girl who wants to be with me or if a girl shows she likes me. So is this my fault or is it bad luck?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s your responsibility to date well, so figure out why you’re striking out. 😉

If you’re asking out girls, 85-90% of whom already have boyfriends…. 😕 you’re not really asking out girls who are prone to say yes to you. So before you ask a girl out on a date, find out a little about her — like if she’s seeing someone or not. That’s a good place to start!

For more information on dating to win, you can read Date Out of Your League, a book I wrote for men who want to win with women. It will help you a lot. You can buy it here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. Read it! It’s going to help.

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[flybird]

I have a question on female behavior. Why do a lot a girls don’t talk to men? I understand that some want men to man up and talk to her (which doesn’t nessisarly make him a real man). I don’t have an issue with that, do it all the time. The problem is I like a girl and I talk to her but since they don’t talk to me I feel like they don’t like me. I don’t want to force a girl to like me I want her to like me on her own strength. I won’t know if a girl likes me until she talks to me, “accidently” bumps into me, or do something to make it obvious she likes me. I think its cute when a girl tries to get a mans attention. I know some girls do this by over hearing others stories. I’ve put so much effert into woman and I don’t know what it feels like for one girl to show intetest in me. It seems like people expect girls just to sit around and twiddle their thumbs untill a guy comes along. I don’t put up with that attitude. So do most girls not try? Are girls afraid of committed relationships? Do girls even like men anymore?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you really want to do well with women, there’s no short cut. 😕 You have to do the work. I’ve suggested you read Date Out of Your League because it will help you….. but I see you’re looking for a quick fix and not doing the work. 😳 I can’t emphasize strongly enough that dating is a process, and if you want to date well, you have to work at it. 😉

Get the book and read it. It’s only $8.95, and it’s not too long. You can read it this weekend. Here’s the link again: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. 😀 😀

The questions you’re posing are academic questions that distance you from your own problems. My advice is to buy and read the book — it’s worth the time and money. 🙂

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[88maroon]

I don’t think you did because I’m pretty sure you’ll see her around campus again. Just try being in the library a little more then usual. Good because you can get some hw and studying done even if she doesn’t come.
As trying to talk to her… just try to read her body language. And please try not to pick her up while she’s just getting in the library. She’s going there for a reason, to get work done. The last thing she needs is a guy trying to pick her up.
Try a friendly smile maybe if you walk pass one another. See what happens.
Then try talking to her. Small talk. Don’t ask her out right away. Then after you feel comfortable ask her.
OR if your feeling confident
you can just go up to her and be forward and be like “hey i’m (your name), would you like to go out some time?”
It’s forward but simple and sometimes that’s all you need. But you have to be really confident when you do this one.

[mikhelee]

I think she’s moved on with her new boyfriend, after a two year relationship with you, where things didn’t work out. 😳

[flybird]

How are woman with men having a lack of friends and money? 1) I don’t have any friends, not because I have issues or something but I’m more mature for my age compared to most guys in there early 20’s. I live on my own and have to pay for everything with requires working and acting adult like as for alot of guys live with other people and have help from mommy and daddy. So it’s been hard to get along with others my age. So how does this effect woman with guys that don’t have any friends? 2) I don’t have a lot of money either. I work the 40 hours a week but for only $10 and hour. Thats less than $20,000 a year, which doesn’t work these days. I have the money to go out on dates and have fun. But not enough for anything spontanious, like fancy vacations, new car, diamonds and jewlrey, a big house, at least not at this point. How much does a man’s money really mean to a woman?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]How are woman with men having a lack of friends and money?[/quote]

It depends why they don’t have any money. If a man is a college student, it’s a little different than if he’s out of school and capable of earning a living.

[quote]So how does this effect woman with guys that don’t have any friends?[/quote]

It’s definitely a flashing yellow or even red light when a woman meets a man who has no friends. It’s usually a sign that something is off, socially. Most people have friends. 😉

[quote]How much does a man’s money really mean to a woman?[/quote]

It depends on the woman — but, as you know because you brought it up, money is something that people take into account when dating.

I really hope you’ll take my advice and read Date Out of Your League. [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. I’m happy to help you here — but the questions you’re asking are general, and they can be bettered answered by the book.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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[flybird]

There are two girls that I like that I see at the library very often. I was thinking of using a banter line (which I learned reading a book) when I get a chance to talk to one of them I will say “Why do you come hear to see me but you don’t say hi?” And take it from there. Is that decent to say? If not what would you recamend me say at first? Remember these girls see me a lot so I’d like to say something that realizes that.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m really happy to advise people here for free, but after a while, when I recommend a particular book, it’s because you really need to read it to move on. This is a free service, and buying the book will not only help support this service, I specifically think it’s going to help you with the problems you’ve written about. 😀

Please buy and read the book I’ve recommended, Date Out of Your League. You can get it here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url].

[Ethan Morales]

What situation is outside the library? You didn’t screw up. You were being considerate, you noticed she was studying and didn’t want to interrupt. That’s actually respectful. Most guys mistake pushiness for confidence, but reading the moment like you did matters. So no, you didn’t blow it. And if you do see her again, bringing up that small detail (“Hey, were you wearing that white and blue dress outside the library the other day?”) can definitely be a smooth way to reconnect if you deliver it naturally. The trick is to sound casual, not rehearsed or desperate. You’re showing attention, not obsession.

Your dating history says a lot not about failure, but about approach. If most of the girls you ask out already have boyfriends, then yeah, you’re targeting the wrong ones. It’s not bad luck; it’s misdirection. You’re probably drawn to women who already seem “taken” or “high-value,” which makes them seem safe to chase because rejection feels inevitable, and that protects you from actually facing intimacy. That’s a quiet pattern a lot of guys fall into without realising it.

April’s advice hits hard because it’s true that dating well takes real work. It’s not just about asking out more women; it’s about learning people, observing energy, and building social awareness. Confidence isn’t the same as persistence. Confidence is calm, observant, and adaptive. That comes from experience, not just effort.

stop thinking in terms of stats “0 for 27,” “0 for 30.” You’re not keeping score in a game. Every “no” just filtered out someone who wasn’t your match. Dating isn’t a lottery; it’s a learning process. You don’t need a quick fix; you need patience and practice, the kind that develops charm naturally because it’s rooted in self-assurance, not outcome. You didn’t screw up man, you’re just still learning the rhythm.

[Tara]

you’re dodging: you didn’t “screw up.” You just didn’t act. And no amount of over-engineered “strategies” is going to fix the fact that you froze and let the moment pass. That’s it. You didn’t talk to her. She walked away. End of chapter. You’re trying to turn this into some rom-com setup when it’s nothing but anxiety disguised as planning.

And no remembering her dress isn’t some magical charm that will make her swoon. If anything, it risks making you look like the guy who sat there silently memorizing her outfit instead of just saying hello like a functioning adult. Women are flattered by confidence, not by forensic-level recall of what they wore while ignoring you.

Here’s the real play: if you see her again, walk up, smile, and say, “Hey, didn’t I see you by the library the other day?” That’s it. Simple. Normal. Not creepy. Not needy. Stop building mythology around a stranger you didn’t even speak to.

[Sally]

When you see someone who grabs your attention out of nowhere, it sticks. And then the moment passes and you’re left replaying it like you messed up… but honestly? You didn’t.

You didn’t “blow” anything. You just didn’t force a conversation while she was busy, which is actually respectful. If you see her again, that’s your window. And yeah, saying something like, “Hey, were you the one studying outside the library the other day in the blue and white dress?” that’s actually sweet. Not creepy, not intense. Just showing that you noticed her in a genuine way.

The only thing that matters now is what you do next time. Keep it simple. Keep it calm. She’ll feel that.
And stop beating yourself up you didn’t screw anything up at all.

[Member]

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