[prd]

Hi

So long story short:

Met this girl.

First date went great and towards the end she said “I definitely want to see you again.” Second date is a week later – we go to a baseball game – afterwards we go have some drinks on a rooftop bar, make out, we hold hands everywhere we walked after that. I took her home – we made out and I got to 3rd base inside my car in her driveway. Third and final date, 3 days later, she wanted me to come over to her house, so I did, met her mom and grandma and me and her went out for drinks. After drinks, we are just walking around outside near a park holding hands and she asks “What do you feel about us?” I say I like it, I enjoy spending time with you etc etc and ask her the same…she goes “Me too, same, but I don’t know, I’m kinda scared and unsure. Most of my relationships started out great like this but then just go bad. I just don’t know if this is what I want.” But then we make out again right after that. So I’m kinda confused at this point. We go back to her house, cuddle on her couch, kiss more, she goes “Yea, i think we can make this work”. I leave a bit later and everything seemed fine, still a little confused though.

Two days after that, I notice her texting is different and she seems more distant. Shorter responses, no smiley faces, etc. Three days later I ask how she’s doing and that’s when I get completely ignored and never get a response back.

I let it go for over a week, finally text her to see what’s up/what went wrong. She says “I thought it was you – I didn’t think you were feeling it so I didn’t want to bother you or seem needy.” I was like “no that wasn’t the case at all, I liked spending time with you and I thought everything was going well – I thought you were the one becoming distant because you never replied back.” She goes “Oh we must have thought the same thing then”. I go “I guess, so can we hangout sometime?” No response. 24 hours later I text “So I guess that’s a no then?” No response. Haven’t heard from her since.

She initiated most of the texting and initiated the last 2 dates. She complimented me a lot like you’re really cute, sexy, pretty eyes, nice body, I think its cute you’re shy and nervous, you’re funny etc etc. She told me I was a great kisser and wanted to kiss me again and again. She was texting me a lot. She had me meet her mother and grandmother, which apparently few guys get to do.

She’s been cheated on, physically abused and treated badly in her past relationships.

So what went wrong? Why did she just start ignoring me out of the blue? Did she really just lose interest in like 48 hours? Or is it that whole scared thing? – she dated bad guys so she’s scared that it might turn into the same situation as her past relationships and she doesn’t want to get hurt or something?

I’m just really confused.

[d3vils-advocate]

I suggest leave her alone and move on. She obviously has some issues if what you say is all true. If she messages you back then chat but dont be so serious like.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I agree with [b]d3vils-advocate[/b].

It’s not you who’s got the problem. She either has so many historical issues that she hasn’t worked through, that she can’t have a healthy relationship, or, she simply lost interest and doesn’t know how to get that across to you gracefully. The bottom line is she’s not interested in dating — you sound a great guy, and you can find someone who is. 😉 Instead of trying to overanalyze what went wrong, my advice is to focus on the bottom line. You want a relationship. You dated her. It didn’t work. Next! 😀 You haven’t made it sound like she’s “the one” or there’s anything incredible about her. You’re just not used to rejection, and that’s what you’re focusing on. Rejection is part of dating, and it’s a gift when it sets you in the right direction away from someone who isn’t right for you. 😉

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[prd]

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I think it’s a mixture of both her shaky past relationships and something she just wasn’t feeling relationship wise, but I will probably never know for sure. At times, I felt that she doesn’t really know what she wants. Some of my friends who are girls all say she has some issues and it’s nothing to do with me.

I just wish she could’ve been honest and told me the truth instead of ignoring me and then making up an excuse after I contact her saying “I thought it was you who wasn’t feeling it” and then ignoring me again. I guess that’s an easier way of ending it for her rather than being upfront.

Oh well, I’m just going to move on and have been for the past week because that’s probably the best thing at this point. Thanks again for the help!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome, and good luck! 😀

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[prd]

Alright well here’s an update and I now know the reason why I got ignored out of the blue (this is probably a rare case) –

I forgot to mention she had told me when we were dating, that she had a ‘lesbian phase’ last year for about 6 months. It turns out she went back to that phase and what she wants is a woman now (all of a sudden??). She has been too damaged from guys in the past and that’s what she was scared of, so even though everything between us was great, I still got kicked to the curb because of that and the fact she doesn’t want to get hurt. She is starting to see some girl and it’s confirmed via Instagram lol.

Unfortunately, she’s a confused and complicated one.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I hope this helps you move on. 😀

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