[Anonymous]

so i’ve been with my boyfriend for about 4yrs now.. the problem is that before i went out with him i was doing a long distance relationship with anothey guy living at the end of the world. When i broke up with my ex, i went out with my current boyfriend. however i dont know why, during these four years from time to time my feelings for my ex would come back.. during these 4 years i kept persuading myself to forget about my ex but i just cant then i would be harsh to my current boyfriend and would want to leave him.. another problem is that my current boyfriend does not want me to say in contact with my ex. adding up is that my ex has a girlfriend now and i havent talked to him for ages.. when i last spoke to him. he told me that things have changed and that he wouldnt want to do a long distance relationship again unless i went down where he is, but i just cant go where he is.. i know i should forger about my ex but i cant, any advice?? am i unfair to my current boyfriend?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Whether or not you forget about your ex is between you and your heart, but if you continue to bring up your ex or contact him, you will risk your current relationship, so if you don’t want to do that, change your behavior. It’s really that simple.

It sounds like your ex has made it very clear that he doesn’t want to be with you any more, and is involved with another woman, so I’m not sure if you’re pining after something you can’t have because you miss him or because you’re trying to sabotage your current relationship. Dating a man for four years without a commitment is too long, and unless there’s a really good reason for him stringing you along, you should probably consider dating other people. Your pining after an unavailable ex may be your heart telling you this relationship you’re currently in isn’t right for you.

I hope that helps. 🙂

[Member]

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