[lpetes]

I have been seeing a guy for about four months now. Up until last week,it was just dating, nothing serious or pronounced exclusive. Last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend. It threw me off because until then, he hadn’t mentioned much about how he felt about me or that he saw me as a potential girlfriend. I hadn’t thought too much about it so I explained that I really liked him, but I needed some time to make sure I was ready. I explained that I had been in a serious relationship that ended over the summer and I wanted to take some time to make sure I knew what I wanted.

After that we continued speaking but it was a lot more difficult to make plans with him. It really only took me two days to realize I wanted to be with him, and I wanted to tell him in person. He always wound up canceling or was not available. Finally a week had gone by and I felt lame, but I told him over the phone. He was really excited and happy and I was too. We spent nearly that entire weekend together.

During that weekend though, he told me that during the week it took me to tell him, he slept with someone else. He claims it meant nothing and that he was hurt and “it just happened”. He told me that when I hadn’t said yes to being his girlfriend right away, he assumed i just meant no, and that I was probably seeing someone else. He shut me out right when I said I needed time and it’s like he didn’t believe anything I said.

Technically, he was single. He said it was the first time he slept with someone else since he met me. I’m obviously upset about it. Even though it technically wasn’t cheating, I still feel cheated and hurt. Especially since he didn’t tell me before he slept with me again. I broke up with him, but I keep second guessing the decision. We’re still talking about it and discussing if and how it can be fixed and if I can get over it. He’s been good about answering any questions I have. He says he’s never cheated before, and knowing how close this is to cheating, he feels ashamed. I’m crazy about the guy, but I don’t really know how to handle the situation or work to get past it. Or if it’s even worth getting past.

HELP!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you’d read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], you’d know that the first three months of dating are the months when you figure out whether or not you want to be serious with someone and invest more time with them. When you didn’t have a positive answer for him, he moved on. He was entirely in the right.

Dating isn’t just a hobby to kill time — it’s a process to get to know someone so you can decide whether or not to continue dating them. Read the book! 😉 You’ll learn a lot you need to know. You should always assume someone you’re dating is seeing other people, too, during those first couple of months. You’re not monogamous until you are! The two of you never got to that point. 😳 Although, he wanted to! You didn’t give him a yes, so he took it for what it was. He figured that after three months of dating you just weren’t sure about him.

This guy didn’t do anything wrong — and it’s entirely wrong for you to make him feel guilty for dating or sleeping with someone else when you weren’t sure you wanted to continue dating him or not after three months. I know you’re mad at him, but you should chalk this off to your dating learning curve. He definitely DID NOT cheat on you!

Get the book today and read it! [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] It’s going to help you understand a lot more about relationships and dating so you don’t find yourself feeling badly about things. 😀

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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