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April Masini, your AskApril.
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- November 26, 2011 at 2:05 am #4601
happygirl923Member #117,354Based on the subject line you may already be thinking..run as fast as you can…. and it may very well be that is what I should do, however let me see if I can put this in a nutshell for you. I think I’m handling this ok, however would like your POV. Met this seemingly great guy at an event…immediate chemistry – he kept glancing across the room, etc… We began emailing…work for the same firm, however completely different areas – never see eachother… We started flirting in email a month ago…graduated to personal email….have already divulged that we are interested in one another….however – he was upfront in saying that he is finalizing a long divorce and he is interested in getting to know me, however he knows he has to handle this unfinished business first. I told him that I understood…I didn’t want to be the girl waiting onthe sidelines, but we could start with friendship. He totally respects my approach and agrees with it. HOWEVER…in a month’s time we have only emailed….and I had given him my number…but he has yet to use it. So basically, it’s been all in email. No invites to lunch, quick hello, etc… I’m thinking that maybe he is respecting my space, he could be shy (there is intense chemistry – last I saw him “I” was even shy) , needs me to invite him to call me?, What would be the right approach if he were truly interested in getting to know me in friendship whilst he is finalizing his divorce? I don’t have high expectations…I am not anxious because I don’t want to invest in someone until they are free and clear….however I do like him a lot and think that we could have something worth pursuing very slowly… His divorce precedings have been going on for over a year…apparently. He has made comments about spending time in the future once he is clear and can move on with life. What yyour thoughts on my scenario?
November 27, 2011 at 12:21 am #20703I don’t believe that men and women should be friends because one person always wants more than the other. Your situation is a perfect example. You talk about this intense chemistry between the two of you, but you want a friendship with him. 🙄 Really? I can also place the winning bet that he doesn’t want a friendship with you.What he wants is a relationship with sex. Or just sex. The friendship was your idea, and as you can see that went over like a wet blanket.
😳 He backed off because you’re not interested in sleeping with him now. And you’re right.It’s better for both of you if he gets his protracted divorce completed before you get involved with him — especially because you have children, you have to be careful who you get involved with. So for now, look elsewhere. If you’re still available when he’s single, then see if he asks you out!
😀 I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link:
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