[confusedconfused]

Dear April,
Im a bit messed up and need your help. Ive been in a relationship for 4 years and its a long distance one.
At first everything started well n then started to screw up after a while. Mainly coz I totally lost trust in the
person n always felt there waa somethint fishy going on which was the case. For a year I asked for the truth
abt a certain incident and he basically saw how hurt I was but prefered to not say the truth than to kepp me relaxed. evebtually he said everything and since then we havent been the same n i doubt him till today. we arent on good terms
and now a days I sick of his relationship. weve said we broke up but we talk on a daily basis n do everytg as if were dating. We allways say thats it were done we wont talk but give it a couple of houra and we do talk again. This time i dont know someething is diff in him. basically spent all day not talking and i know nothing abt him
Another thing is several other guys liked me n asked me out .but i always say no n dont even give them a chance just co i feel this other guy is around. We actually are not dating but still act as if we are. the laat time he figured out i was gettin pretty serious with a guy he freaked out n started giving me attention 24-7 n calling n givinng promises ans saying just give me another chance well date again forget abt everything and ill see if having sth official with you is possible. As soon as i told him there is nothing between me n the guy everyth went back to square one. I basically think hes taking me for granted n just loved the attention i gave him.
i need u to tell me what to do.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

Have you actually had an in person date in the four years you’ve been together?

Let me know this information and I’ll answer your question more completely! 😀

[confusedconfused]

Hi April,
Were both 28. Yes we have met alot for a long distance relationship through out the four years.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re stuck in a rut that has been created over the last four years of your long distance relationship together. 😳 The reason for the rut is because it’s a lot harder to move on from a failed relationship where you didn’t see each other regularly then it is from one where you saw each other a couple of times a week because your real life in a break up doesn’t feel that different whether you were together.

My advice is to decide if you want to move on or not. I know this is difficult, but if you don’t make this decision, you’re going to stay in limbo and continue to be confused and ultimately, unhappy. It sounds like you are not able or willing to forgive him for not being truthful with you and now you don’t trust him and want to move on — but are having trouble doing so (which is normal after a long term relationship). If you do decide to move on, which is what I think you’ll do, then limit your contact with him until you wean off it entirely. When you stop having any contact with him, you’ll start feeling single again. This requires discipline and focus — and it’s in your best interest, long term. You’re avoiding doing this because it’s painful, but there’s no short cut here. Learning how to break up is just as important as learning how to be in a relationship.

Hope that helps!

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Member]

Posts