Neither.
You need to learn how to flirt. This is what nobody in high school or college will teach you — and it’s essential to dating and relationships. Don’t put a value judgment on it, like thinking only slutty people flirt. It’s not true. It’s the most intelligent women who understand that flirting is the way to get a guy to know you’re interested in him, without taking away what he wants to do most — chase you and win you over. When you ask a guy out, you may be getting the short term benefit of knowing he’s accepting a date, but I promise — you will lose out in the long run because you will then be waiting for a sign that he likes you “enough” or not. If you flirt with him, and he asks you out, you’ll know he likes you enough to ask you out. And if he continues to ask you out, you’ll be much more clear on where things stand.
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