[ASadWolf]

Hello. I haven’t seen my girlfriend in two months. She says she needs space. I heard she got a job a my place of work and I don’t know if she loves me any more or wants to be with me. There is no way I can work with her. I am so in love with her. I don’t want to leave my job and shouldn’t have too. No one knows about her at work and I don’t know how to tell my boss that he should hire her, that I cant work with her. I don’t think its going to end well.

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

If she told you she needs space, and it’s been two months since you’ve seen her — she doesn’t want to see you. I’m so sorry to be blunt, but I think that you need to hear it loud and clear. You probably already know this, deep down, but need someone to say it. I know this is upsetting to you, but you have to keep boundaries at work. Definitely do not tell your boss not to hire her — she has a right to make a living, and just because you’re having trouble with a break up isn’t a good reason to try and keep her from getting work. Anyway…. you’re not 100% sure that she will be working at your company, and she may not. But if she is, stay cool and try to appreciate the opportunity the sticky situation will allow you to get over her more quickly, and to move on.

[ASadWolf]

I cant work with her when I’m in love with her. I cant look and talk to her like I want to.

[ASadWolf]

The big problem is she’s married still and she left him because she told me it wasn’t working well before she meet me and she doesn’t love him. The holidays are very hard for her because of loved ones that past and not being around the kids, which are grown up. She told me she was so in love with me, that I was her soul mate, couldn’t live without me and would never hurt me. We want the same things together. Being said, she has been distant from me and tells me she has the ability to shut her emotions off. One of my biggest questions is, how can someone so in love with someone just do this? She is my every dream that I ever wanted. Theres a saying, when we are born, we have half our heart and soul. We search our other half, and when we do, we are complete. I have found my other half! She said to me I was hers. My heart feels like its ripping out of me and no answers from her. She does say we’ll talk soon. I love her more that anything in this world besides my mom.

[ASadWolf]

What causes someone thats totally in love with, your soul mate, can’t live without, every dream they dreamed of, talked about and wanted to do so many things together, as well as marrying, to just fall out of love with you?
My dreams are totally destored, my every dream of my soul mate, heart ripped apart. I dont know how to get through this!
We are almost 50 yrs old and been together for 2 1/2 years. we have both said to each other how much we love each other. She has even said to me, she loves me more. Couldn’t keep from touching me, said, if she could she would fuse herself to me.
She is my every dream come true.
I wish I could talk to you one on one. I’m trying to reach out for help. Not getting answers from the one I love, the pain, the sadness, the rejection I feel. I shouldn’t be treated this way. I did nothing wrong. I know why some people end there lifes.

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

It sounds like the two of you were together for two and half years, but that she is married to someone else, and has been during that time. Did I get that right? And now, she’s broken up with you, although I’m not sure why…. and you’re devastated.

I’m so sorry for your pain. It sounds like you’re waiting for her to come back or to talk to you, and that wait, itself, is almost like a separate painful experience. I think that if you can find a way to stop waiting, and to accept the break up, and start nurturing yourself by getting out there and enjoying friends and family, volunteering, walking in nature, going to the movies, going to the gym — you’ll feel better.

For future, when you get involved with someone who is committed to another man, you’re not giving yourself great odds of her being yours and only yours. Even is she told you that she was yours — you have to realize she’s taken vows saying the same thing, to her husband. 😕 I’m very sure you love her very much, but just because you love someone, and even just because she may love you, doesn’t mean you should be together. Even soul mates aren’t always mean to be together.

Again, I’m so sorry for your pain, and I hope you’ll use the opportunity that this break up has provided, to make a change in your life and really take good care of yourself! Let me know if you have any other questions.

[ASadWolf]

She says she’ll meet me next Wed. I tried to get her to see me sooner, like now, but didn’t want to argue with her and loose the chance to talk to her.
Here’s what we said,
(her) I just want you to know this phone is being shut off. I’ll meet you Wednesday to give you your money.
(me) will you please meet me Fri night? Please! I need to talk to you.
(her) I can only Wednesday
(me) I desperately need to see you. You are the only one I can talk to.
(her) I’ll be there Wed
(me) Promise me
(her) Unless I’m dead I’ll be there
(me) I really wish it was sooner
(her) I wont be able to stay long. I really just want to give you your money
(me) Please, I need to talk
(me) I know now why some people end there life’s
(her) Omg really?
(me) You are the only one that has the answers to my questions
(her) The only answer I have is that I don’t want to be in a relationship until I straighten my life out and if you think threatening suicide is going to change that you are wrong. and I really can’t believe you would even say that.
(me) I just want to remind you how much I truly love you.
(me) I’m not going to kill myself, I’m just saying I feel the pain some of them do.
(her) Don’t love me
(me) You are my everything. Everything I ever dreamed of and wanted.
(her) You can’t go out with a married women and expect a fairytale.
(me) That’s why you need to divorce him.
(her) This phone is going to be turned off tonight. I will be there Wed night.
(me) Remember, I love you.

The reason the phone is being shut off is when she moved out, she got another phone from her sister to use so we could communicate on. Now she says that her sister is turning the phone off for good.
To me it sounds like she’s going back to him. Which I can’t understand because, she has said, it wasn’t working well before she meet me and didn’t love him and even said at times hated him.
The kids are very important to her, and doesn’t want to loose them. There grown up and they will always be around. She said to me that if she could loose the kids and be sued. I want her to divorce him so we can live our lives together, the way we talked about. Then he can’t do anything to her or me. I can’t wait to see her. I’m given it all I got and some to get her back. I’ll let you know what happens.

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

You’re acting desperate and manipulative. This isn’t going to win her over. 😕 Besides, she’s married. 😳 She doesn’t want to be with you. I’m pretty sure that in spite of your title, “Don’t Understand”, you do understand — you just don’t like it. I get it. Rejection is painful. But instead of trying to get back with someone who is clearly not interested, why not try to date someone who is single, available and interested? 😉

[Member]

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