She initiated the soft launch of a breakup. People don’t pack bags and disappear for six weeks because they want to fix things; they do it because they’re already halfway out the door and too cowardly to end it outright. You’re sitting here romanticizing her doubts as “pre-wedding jitters” because that’s easier than admitting she’s been checking out of this relationship for a long time while you were busy planning a future she’s no longer sure she wants.
Her reasons weren’t vague. They were crystal clear. “Not attracted.” “Trying to have sex.” “Too stable.” “Holding her back.” These are not problems she’s asking you to solve they’re statements of detachment. When someone says the relationship lost its spark, and they’re not sure they want the life you’re offering, that’s not a pause. That’s a decision. A six-week “reflection period” is nothing but emotional distance dressed up as self-growth.
You’re treating her nostalgia for chaos as something you can fix by being even more supportive, more patient, more stable. You can’t. If she sees your stability as suffocating, no amount of counseling is going to magically make her ready for marriage, kids, and a mortgage. She wants freedom, spontaneity, and space, all the things you can’t compete with because they’re fantasies, not responsibilities.
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