[JasonOne]

I often hear complaints from women that they don’t even know who they are anymore. They’ve been married for ten or twenty years, raised children, had careers, and somehow they’ve lost their core sense of self. They think the solution is to leave the relationship to find their true selves.

What they are experiencing is emotional fusion, and the cure lies in the process of differentiation. David Schnarch, in Passionate Marriage, refers to the process of differentiation as a “process by which we become more uniquely ourselves by maintaining ourselves in relationship with those we love.”

Emotional fusion is often mistaken for love. It is not; it is love’s poor step-sister. Emotional fusion occurs in nearly every relationship to some degree. Beginning with our family of origin, we are taught at an early age which behaviors are acceptable and will result in our parents expressing their love for us. We learn to mold ourselves into the person our parents want us to be. When we rebel, we are attempting to differentiate ourselves, which is healthy and necessary for emotional growth. Depending on the level of emotional fusion in your family of origin, either those rebellious moments will be squelched completely, you will be encouraged to express yourself in harmless ways, or something in between. [url=https://www.ezinearticles.com/?Finding-Your-Self-in-Relationships&id=2514749]Read more..[/url]

[Lizzy_09]

Sometimes I find my self on the very state. Your try to please your man all the time and you end up loosing your self identity.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Please let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Member]

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