[helphelp]

I recently crept my boyfriends computer and found pictures of naked little girls. I love him so much and I would have never expected that from him. We have been dating for 2 years and I could see myself starting a family with him, but this is so wrong. Should I confront him about it? Help quick, I have no idea what to do!

[AskApril Masini]

Your boyfriend has child pornography on his computer. This is a crime, and he’s really a sick guy. Forget about dating him any more — let alone starting a family with him. You need to call the police, report what you found, and get out of that relationship immediately. Some pedophiles stick with child pornography, but others act on their fantasies. There is probably a lot more bad stuff about him you haven’t yet discovered. He needs more help than you can give him. Calling the police before he hurts a child is the most important thing you can do. 😳

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[helphelp]

He is only 18, it’s not as easy as breaking it off and getting him arrested. He was there for me when I was suicidal and many other times. It doesn’t reflect who he is as a person.

[AskApril Masini]

It [i]absolutely[/i] reflects who he is as a person. He’s looking at child pornography, which is a crime, and it’s sick, and he may be a pedophile.

People who look at child pornography, and pedophiles can be educated, wealthy, poor, employed, students, family members, friends, and boyfriends — but they’re still very sick people. And they’re criminals. Unless you’re a skilled psychiatrist or a member of the criminal justice system, you can’t help him because you don’t have the tools.

He may have helped you when you were down, as a friend, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that as a friend you can’t help him with this. This is a big deal, and you don’t have the skill set to do this. If he molests a little girl, after you do nothing, you’re going to have known that you could have done something to save that little girl.

Do the right thing and call the police. If you can’t call the police, then tell a responsible adult. You have a responsibility. Be strong.

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[helphelp]

Would confronting him first be a good first step?

[AskApril Masini]

No. There’s nothing that you or he can say that is going to change the fact that he’s in possession of child pornography. This isn’t something you can talk through. You have to contact the police and if you don’t have the strength to do that, then you have to contact an adult who will. There’s too much at stake here for talking.

If you want a script for a call to the police, you can tell them: “I feel horrible turning my boyfriend in because he’s helped me in the past with my personal problems, but I found child pornography on his computer, and I don’t know what to do, so I’m calling you. Can you tell me?”

That’s all you have to do. They’re open 24/7.

This is really serious, and I know you don’t want to face it because it means your world is changing suddenly, but that ship has left the dock, and there is no turning back. You can’t date someone who owns and looks at child pornography. You can’t marry someone who owns and looks at child pornography. You can’t have children with someone who owns and looks at child pornography, because among other things, you will knowingly be putting them in harm’s way, and you could end up losing the children for knowing about this, and doing nothing about it. This is hard for you because you have fond feelings for him and a history, but everything changed when you found out about the child pornography. It’s game over, whether you realize it or not.

The best thing you can do is to turn this matter over to people who know how to handle people who own and look at child pornography. By doing so, you may be saving a little girl, or many little girls, from being molested and raped, at worst — and at best, you’ll be helping to do something against child pornography and people who use it. It’s a sickness and it’s a crime.

I know this is hard for you, but make a call tonight. And then move on. You’ll need help because all break ups are tough, but I can be there for you for that. Your boyfriend’s problem with child pornography is something you need help with that I can’t give you, but the police can. Make the call because it’s the right thing to do.

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