[Collz]

My boyfriend is 27 years old and i am 24 years old, we have been together for almost three years. He sleeps alot on weekends and stays off work whenever he feels like it, and when he does he will sleep allllll day! I am constantly asking him to wake up earlier on weekends, he gets upset and says I am not his boss. He will sleep until 10 or 11 even if he has gone to bed early the night before, and he will take a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon as well. His laziness is really frustrating me and making me reconsider our future together. I don’t know what more to do.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If this is who he’s always been, it sounds like you’re the one who just woke up! For whatever reasons or changes that are happening in your own life, you’re now not liking his character. You want someone who’s more ambitious and invested in life and less in sleep. If he’s sleeping a lot because of some change — he’s got new hours, or more responsibility, or he’s not feeling well — that’s different. But if he’s got a lazy character and you’re frustrated by who he is — and his response to your frustration is that he’s frustrated with your frustration…. you’re the one who should consider changing her behavior. 😉 It will be a lot easier than getting him to change his.

Make plans for your own weekend, without him, so you don’t feel frustrated by his sleeping patterns. Let him be the one to ask you out and invite you to do things with him — and if you’re free, you can accept if you’d like. And if you’re not free, tell him that you’d love to, but you made plans because you didn’t think he’d be awake. 😉 If you do this, and nothing changes on his side, and you feel lonely, you may consider that this incompatibility is a deal breaker. But before you do, see if you can take care of your own needs, working around him.

I hope that helps!

[Member]

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