[desperate12]

OKAY I apologize for the long story!

me and my husband have been together for 2 1/2 years. when we first started we were both 18 so it wasnt much of a serious relationship. we were committed to each other and we both went out. stuff like that so an old crush came back and i left him for this other guy. we got over it so it was cool. he never brung the guy back up. well he started chatting with girls here and there a little drama all types of situations for like 6 months straight. whatever no cheating was actually done so i always forgave him kinda feeling guilty in the inside for what i had done. anyways we would constantly break up here and there no biggy. we always got back together. then i moved out of my house due to my mothers suffocation with my freedom. so i got my own place and he would spend like every night there. well one time he left we had a huge argument and we broke up for about 2 weeks. time passed we reunited at a party and picked up where we both left off. now during this time i had my flings just as he had his, but he had his with a former friend of mine which infuriated me just because she used to be a friend. it was kinda hard to get over it but i did even though is always in the back of my mind. after we got back together. we both got super serious cut off all drama, changed numbers and decided to do things right. we were in love all over again but this time felt matured. he proposed. shortly after i found out i was pregnant. so we kinda made the wedding a little quicker so we could have a family before the baby came. when i was 4 months pregnant and a month before the wedding i had a miscarriage. me and him talked and thought about it hard and decided to keeo on going with the wedding. things were going good. we both have stablished good jobs and for some reason even though were 21 we act much mature than when the relationship started and we are very open to each other, communication is good. problem is .. its been a month since the wedding and i recently found out (through pictures on facebook) that during our time off and his fling with my former friend he went with her to his brothers house. 2 hrs from here. went out clubbing with her which means she spent the night. his brothers girlfriend had the pictures because since then her and this girl became friends. we talked about it and although i understand we were not together i cant help but feeling sooo hurt. i guess i didnt want to find out. he never found out about my flings. because i made sure he wouldnt be hurt. him n this girl have not had contact since we got back together and he is nothing but faithful hardworking and loyal. but it kills me everytime i think that he might have slept with her. i dnt want to ask so i wnt be even more hurt. i really dnt want to know. i can be fine about my day think bout it and i start crying. i hate it is haunting me. he consoles me and helps me try to get over it. he tells me is my past not my present and deff not my future. i kno he loves me and is comitted i just hatee that i found out… y am i sooo hurt??? i think is because it messes with my ego to know shes soo pretty and was my former friend. i want to get over it. i tried everything. i want my marriage to last and i know he is good and wants the same. i just need to get over this asap. because sometimes i dnt say anything but it still kills me inside. i know it makes him uncomfortable every time i bring it up and he triess to make me feel better but i dnt want to push him away. i love this man so much. i know im not a saint because ive had my share but i guess since he doesnt see evidence he cant understand where im coming from. one thing is knowing and another is seeing it… ughhh im stuck!!!

thank you for the time

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You and your husband both have pasts, and his includes a fling with your friend that is painful to you to think about. The thing is, that he didn’t cheat on you. He dated her when the two of you were broken up and since then he’s proposed to you, married you and has been a good husband to you.

You need to understand that there is a difference between feelings and behavior. In honor of your marriage, you have to behave like a woman who appreciates her husband. Focus on what you have, and what you want to have together. If you don’t want to push him away, then don’t bring up his past — or yours. Focus on the present and the future.

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes — and follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter — and on Facebook: [url][/url] 😀

[desperate12]

I know you’re right I guess it just makes me mad that it has to be rubbed all over my face everytime I see his sister-in-law or everytime she’s around. It makes me uncomfortable and rebrings feelings i wish i didn’t feel. How can I handle thsi situation? She is always trying to start problems between us, I am getting to the point of explosion. I dont know how to deal with his phoney family. I dnt want to be around any of them. is so hard putting a fake nice face on knowing inside i want them to know how much i dislike them all SPECIALLYYYY his brothers girlfriend.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Try and limit your family get together events without being obvious about what you’re doing. When you do have to be with family practice discipline and also understanding. Behave in a manner that you would expect others to behave. In fact, raise the bar and behave in an even better manner than you would expect from others! 😉 The reality is that you have a very good man. Focus on what’s good in your life. Nourish your relationship with your husband, and know that there will always be people out there who are negative — but that they don’t have to impact your own life.

I hope that helps.

Check out my Facebook website ([url][/url]), and follow me on Twitter @AskAprilcom!

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