[aptlinh]

My Girlfriend and i have been dating for over a year, and recently she made a new friend with this girl. Well they started cuddling together and this really bothered me. In my view cuddling should be something that only her and I do. So i mentioned that it bothered me and then a few days later they were cuddling again. This really bothers me because i will be in the room and they will be on the bed cuddling so i just have to sit and watch. it really aggravates me. so when it happened again, i told her i really don’t like when she does that and it bothers me and i think cuddling should be between me and her and not other people. now the girl isn’t gay or anything so im not worried about my girlfriend doing anything with her friend, it just bothers me because i want cuddling to stay between me and her. i told her that it makes me feel like im not good enough because she has to go to someone else to cuddle when she should be going to me. however when i ask her how she would feel if i was doing that to her she said she would encourage me to cuddle with other people yet i doubt if it was me cuddling with someone else that she would be supportive. i would never do such a thing so its really bothering me. like i would never cuddle with anyone else and i have no want to because i think that it is wrong. and when i tell her it bothers me she says its stupid and im being controlling. So i do not know what i should do, because when she does it not only makes me feel bad about myself and i feel like its not right. i want her to respect how i feel about this but i feel like im getting know where. i do not know what i should do. Can anyone help me?

[AskApril Masini]

Since you’ve made it clear to your girlfriend that you don’t like her cuddling with her friend, and she is not going to stop, you have a couple of choices. You can leave the room whenever she does what you don’t like. Or you can leave the relationship because you’ve decided that this is a deal breaker for you. Or you can decide that you don’t like it, but you’re going to find a way to be okay in the relationship with things she does that you don’t like, and maybe consider that there are things you do that she doesn’t like, and is willing to overlook. Or, you can pinpoint some of those things you do that she doesn’t like and make a deal with her that you’ll stop the behaviors she doesn’t like in exchange for her stopping this behavior you don’t like. 🙂

What you want to avoid doing is painting yourself into a corner. In other words, if you’re going to hold onto the fact that you don’t like something she’s doing, and she knows it and won’t stop, so you’re just going to focus on finding a way to make her stop, you’re going to be pretty miserable, and eventually, so will she. Instead, figure out what you CAN do, and what you’re willing to do, and choose one of your options. 😉

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Member]

Posts