Hi, so im going to try to be as non-bias as possible. A little background of me : im 23, I have a 7 month old child. Was living with a roommate before but I have no moved out on my own with my son.
The guy and I meet off a dating website. We talked for a couple weeks and he knew all about my son. When we met, he met my son at that time also. We seems to be those people who would just be perfect together. He told me he could see a future with me and all. We were never officially dating, but we were seeing each other. Neither of us were interested in other. We had sex, slept at each other’s places, loved being in each other’s company. About a month and a half into in, he talked to his dad about the whole situation with me having a baby, and that scared him away. He was never completely comfortable around him, but I saw he was trying. And maybe I pushed a little too hard on that. At that time, he went off on me about how I need to get our and live on my own, how I need to get my life sorted out, how he wasn’t comfortable around my baby, and he just wanted one of his own. (all this I understand) so we stopped talking. He wanted to be friends, but I didn’t think I could handle it. Then before we completely stopped talking, he told me he fell in love with him, but isn’t anymore.
I understand that if I didn’t have my baby, we would no doubt be together. Now here is the part I don’t understand. I texted him twice while I was drunk. The second time, he said he was happy that I texted and he was actually thinking of texting me when I texted him. That was a week ago. Since then, we have hung out twice. The first time I was awkward cause I still have strong feelings for him. But I know nothing will come out of this. The second time, I was drinking, and he knew it was a party. It was awkward at first, but then we ended up cuddling, and when I was pretty much sober, I asked him to sleep over and we had sex. The next day I asked how this would be different from the first time. And he said ‘it will be what it will be.’
The question is this. What do I do? I want a relationship, but he isn’t ready for one now. While we weren’t talking, I dated some guys and it just didn’t feel right. My friends say just take it slow, but what if I do that and he never changes his mind?
The biggest problem it seemed he had was having to be like a ‘father figure’ with my son. But my son has a dad who is in his life. And even if we are friends, he will still be around my baby. I don’t understand the guys way of thinking is on this and I think that is what is confusing me so much.
What I want is a relationship. I just want someone who would be committed me to and me to him, and who I can talk to when I need to. It felt like that before but I was always insecure about if I did something wrong, he would just stop talking to me. I fell for him, and I fell for him hard. But I don’t want to wait around forever in case he doesn’t change his mind.
