[jakie2012]

Hi everyone,
you might have seen this question before. but I guess that every situation is unique 🙂

Would you be bothered if your girlfriend is still friends with her ex on facebook?

My girlfriend is still friends with her ex. they broke up about 1.5 years ago. she said they haven’t been in touch for ages. I think it was a bad breakup. she just told me today that her ex emailed her that he will be on a business trip (come to the city where we live) and wants to meetup for a coffee. Her reaction was f**k that. she said she would ignore him but her friends said she should her ex she is busy. Anyway, this isnt why I’m asking question here.

I’m quite bothered about they are still friends on facebook, even she said she doesnt use FB that much. but the point is why they are still friends on facebook. especially, sounded like she’s still kinda angry with the guy. I guess that it’s not easy to deal with the feeling of ‘being rejected’. you can say that I’m insecure and very paranoid. I did not tell her what she needs to do. I just said whatever she does and she should have self-respect for herself. she should respect me and our relationship.

I have never doubted about my feeling towards to my GF before. but this time I feel like our relationship is kinda undermined. I’ve started questioning about it (FYI: we’ve been together for two months but like house on fire.)

Not sure if I should just leave it as our relationship is still at early stage. I think she knows I feel uncomfortable about the situation. I’m not planning to ask her to remove her ex from FB. what does everyone think here?

thanks for your time.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’ve only been dating for two months — this is still a time when you should both be deciding if you want to continue dating each other. Rather than dictate the terms of her Facebook friends, my advice is to hang back and watch and figure out if this is someone who’s ready to be in a relationship with you. When you start telling someone what to do, you lose the opportunity to see who they are.

Second, it doesn’t sound like she’s cheating on you or even acting disrespectfully to you. Being Facebook friends means different things to different people. Some people don’t even know who half their friends are and some people only friend their closest circle of people. If she’s getting together with the ex on a regular basis, that would be a lot different than just keeping him in her stable of friends online.

And lastly, don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. Nobody is perfect, and if there are a lot of things about her that you like, and a couple you don’t, it might be wise to let go what you can and focus on what’s good. I don’t think the isolated incident of the Facebook friendship means the relationship is in trouble.

I hope this helps! Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Facebook and on Twitter at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[jakie2012]

hi April,

thanks so much for your advice.

You’re right. I was overacted. I guess I just cared too much.🙂 I was saying she was cheating. I just didn’t like that fact they were still friends on FB. the guy contacted her when he comes to the town.

Anyway, good advice. thanks so much.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome! 😀

If you’re interested, I’m asking readers to please send me a video of their experience on this free relationship advice site to me at AskApril@AskApril.com.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[jakie2012]

Hi April,
I will do the video thing for you once I have come to conclusion about my dilemma.

I was a little dramatic about the situation. Deep down I guess that I am really bothered about how she reacted about sudden appearance of her ex. Since they are still friends on FB, she got to be very curious about her ex’s life. She did talk to me about what happend. this ex was more a rebound from her previous relationship. this ex wanted to have a relationship but she still had feeling of her ex (that was 7 years relationship) before him. then when she was ready to have a relationship. this ex already moved to another city and moved on. hence the angry came from at that time she felt rejected. when she talked to me about sudden contact from this ex, she just said no way she would reply his email. hence my feeling was she was still angry. otherwise, she could have removed him from FB. or told him to p*** off. But the thing really bothers me was she might be still care about this ex since she is still kinda angry about him. I would think she prob was curious about this ex’s life. they haven’t been in touch for over 1.5 years, i would assume she has moved on completely.

I do believe that girls always remember ex who didnot treat then properly or ex they could have. Pls tell me I’m wrong. I think this is something really bothers me. drive me nuts about the situation. She certainly would be too stupid to jeopardize our relationship since this ex is in town for a few days. unfortunately, I’m out of the town. so I wouldnot know if anything happens.I would hope she has the self respect and self pride not meeting this ex. Otherwise, I would be utterly disappointed. If I asked her again, I would appear to be too insecure….so I’m gonna let it go unless I see anything suspicious. Sorry I seemed to bring us back to where we started…relationship!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Thanks for sharing. 😀

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