[kay21t]

She asked for space just out of the blue, one night talking happily, then 10 hrs later in the am. She said she needed space to see how she felt and reevaluate things bc everything has been stressing her. She works a lot especially lately, sometimes gets poor sleep and was pretty cranky with it last week but cool with me during that time. We’ve been together for 2 months and everything has been great, no fighting or problems. Hung out not long before this all happened and she was fine. Talked about future dates, kissed, etc. Since this space thing started we have talked very little, though one night after all of the needing space texts she text me. Was very nice and joked around a bit. But left me with “sorry for being weird, just go with it lol”. She has been out of town with family at a concert for the past few days and comes back tomorrow. We haved not talked the past two days but I’m assuming we will when she gets back. I have also done a pretty good job giving her space and not messaging her all the time. Am I overthinking it and she just needs this space? Or is it a prelude to a breakup?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both? How long have you been dating? And — have you written me about this problem before? It sounds vaguely familiar…..

[kay21t]

She is 21, I am 23. We have been dating for 2 months. And no I have not asked you this before.

[kay21t]

She is 21, I am 23. We have been dating for 2 months. And no I have not asked you this before.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Am I overthinking it and she just needs this space? Or is it a prelude to a breakup?[/quote]

This is not necessarily prelude to a break up, and I don’t think you’re over thinking it, but…. I do think you should reconsider the dating process and the way you’re using it. Remember that dating is not a commitment — it’s a process that you should use to decide if you want to continue dating someone. A good rule of thumb I use is that during the first three months of dating someone, which is where you two are, this is the time to decide if you want to continue dating that person, and it should be assumed that you’re both playing the field while considering continuing dating each other. I think that you’ve considered your two months of dating a commitment and not a process, and that’s why you’re feeling uncertain and a tad panicky right now. If you pass the three month mark in dating, then use the next three month period to decide if you want to be monogamous. 😉

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go. 🙂

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[kay21t]

I just a got message from her saying “she has volleyball at 830 today but wanted to see if I wanted to get together for ice cream at 730 so we can talk”. So for all of the questions but the is the first message since giving her space. Is this a break up talk or just talking?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I can’t tell you what she’s going to do or say — but if she wants to get together to have “a talk” it’s probably about the relationship. Go open minded, and be clear about what you want. And remember…. you’ve been dating for two months. This is the time to decide if you want to continue seeing each other — and that’s for both of you. 😉 Not every relationship is going to work out, but that’s actually a gift that allows you to see where you are and are not wanted. Use your dating game to win women over, but use your common sense not to bang on closed doors, if you know what I mean. 😉

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

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