[chilling96]

…The first time my boyfriend dissapeared on me was in February for the whole month. I received a few text messages but did not see him at all for one month. Per his request , he needed to sort out his life and be happier and did not think having me around since he was depressed was fair for me ( his words!) So i practiced NC and then early March, he came back! We talked and eventually got back together ….Everything was ok until about a 1.5 week ago! He dissapeared on me again…The last time i saw him was almost 2 weeks ago and the last time i spoke with him was a week ago (last friday)! Since then NOTHING…We were supposed to do something on saturday( an outing that i wanted to do!) and he did mention it on our last conversation but saturday came around and i did not hear from him at all and even since then….What’s the deal??? I need to mention he is currently struggling with alcohol but still he could let me know what is going on!!!?? It is a repeat from 2 months ago and I am getting tired of it! I do love him and he supposedly does too but his actions are telling me otherwise! He is always tired when he gets off work and rarely want to do anything unless that’s what he chooses for us to do ( a little selfish i would say!)…. HOWEVER He seems to never be as tired when it comes time to hang out with his friends who are also heavy drinkers! We have talked about marriage, kids,living together…but everytime he tries to stop drinking and gets depressed he goes MIA! Dont hold on promises such as he says he will come over but does not or will call but does not! And keeps ditching me most of the time!
I am ready to call it quits because i dont think i am being treated with respect but before i would like to make sure if that is a normal behavior or not for an alcoholic.. I do have strong feelings for the guy and want the best for him.I am also ready to help him but not sure if i can make him change or make him want to change!
I would love to get input from people who have been in similar relationships. Is the hope still ALIVE or DEAD????

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He is acting normal for someone with an addiction, and that means you don’t come first. You never will. His substance will. 😳

My advice is to find someone who is healthy enough to be in a relationship where there is mutual respect. This guy doesn’t have what it takes because his problems come first and so does he. Sorry. I wouldn’t waste much more time in this relationship if I were you. Next!

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Member]

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