[Dubbs6124]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year. He is 27 and I am 24. We
have lived together for ~5 months of the year.

He recently had to do some traveling for his job where he was on the road
for 10 hours. During his trip he mentioned that he has done some thinking
about his life. Curious, I asked “do you care to share?” he responded “not
yet”. A few times he mentioned having to talk about something, but he still
had to think about it. So, what does a women think? It’s either he is
breaking up with me or he wants to take the relationship to the next level.
After a week, I finally snapped and said that is was unfair for him to
withhold this discussion from me and that we were going to talk. Finally,
we sat down after a long day of work. He said “i hate talking about this
kind of stuff”. I could tell this was hard for him. He started by asking if
anything has feels different (in our relationship) ? I responded that maybe
we have gotton a little more routine, and things seem mechanical almost.
But I’ve been happy and content with the way things have been going.

Then I let him talk.

The whole convo is bit of a blurr because of how emotional I got. He
proceeded to tell me that he thinks we are just “coasting”, and that he
can’t remember the last time we just kissed, had sex with out alcohol
involved, and doesn’t feel that passion. His main point of this convo was
to fix it so that we can stay together because he does love me. When he saw
how upset I was getting as I was questioning everything, he kept saying
“this is not a bad thing!” He said the passion has been there before with
us but doesn’t know why it’s swindled. He also explained that he can feel
passion about someone and not love them, but our problem seems to be the
opposite

I need your help. My man in particular is a manly man. The more I lean
forward (initiate sex, be lovey dovey, make plans for us, etc) the more he
leans back. So even though I’m so glad he brought this up to me and wants
it to be fixed before it’s too late – I just don’t know what to do.

[AskApril Masini]

This is easy! 😀

First, you should buy a book I wrote for people [i]just like you[/i] who need to get the X back in their sex lives, called Romantic Date Ideas, easily purchased here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/romantic-date-ideas.html[/url]. The book has a series of dates that are designed to get the juices flowing, romance happening and your love lives boiling.

Basically, you have to make him feel like having sex without initiating or pushing. You have to be sexier than you have been, and doing that means reorienting yourself towards your inner vixen and away from ho-hum, platonic roommate. You’ve gotten away from the woman who has great, sexy lingerie, and greets her man with the kind of kiss that implies longing. You have to make him feel like he wants to have sex with you and you have to want to have sex, yourself.

But it’s not just all sex. It’s also about creating the atmosphere that promotes intimacy. Candlelit dinners, love letters and little gifts that remind him how lucky he is to be with you, and a different relationship that is more spicy, than the one you’ve fallen into. 😉

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
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[jennaMax]

a real man would just come out with it..I hate it when guys act like that. if it’s not ready to disclose his “plans” what are you supposed to think? I wouldn’t put up with it for one minute…either he comes clean with his plans or else…

[Dubbs6124]

The passion just instantly increased after our first convo and we implemented a few things from your program. THANKS FOR THAT! It was like magic, just talking about it made it work again. Sex increased. Holding hands. KISSING. Surprises. Could have to do it was v-day and his birthday short after but here I am again, back to serious place in a relationship where I can honestly say now IS ON THE ROCKS and there is little to no passion.

lately he is off his mission with work. He asked for a raise, and instead he got rejected, and now he expected to do more work (the work of two people). After this happened it took 2 days for him to talk about it with me because he was so angry about what happened. I mentioned the stress and disappointment and not knowing if he will ever get recognized for his hard work might be affecting his passion for us. He said maybe, but usually he can not let work affect his relationships. He also mentioned that he may be depressed because of this.

We had another convo last night about passion and what seems to have happened this time. We agreed that last time we discussed it, it fixed itself for a little, but now we are back. He seems unsure, but I think it has to do with the fact that he thinks we are such different people. To be specific, he thinks we are two very different people one way because I’m a little messy, and he is almost OCD clean. This is something almost impossible to change *(unless you have insight).

Him dwelling on these differences have decreased his passion for me, is that a logical assumption? If so, How can we fix it?
Does a man getting off center in his purpose with his career cause maybe a lack of passions?
we are at the stage right now where we have outlined (written down) the issues we have (differences, lack of passion, me being overly emotional), but havent come to a conclusion on what to do to fix it?

PLEASE HELP

[AskApril Masini]

Of course, stress about his job is going to affect his behavior in the relationship. But, that said, I think you should go back to the book I suggested you buy, Romantic Date Ideas, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/romantic-date-ideas.html[/url], because it’s got lots of “dates” and ways to get men and women out of their heads and into their bodies. That’s exactly what he needs!

Stop having “the talk” about the relationship. I never recommend that because it just puts pressure on the guy, which exacerbates the problem at hand. What you need is to help him have fun, relax, focus on the two of you, and not his problems. 😉 Buy the book, and use it. 😀 😀

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
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