[courtneylane19]

[color=#FF0080]Hi April! 🙂 My name is Courtney. I am 19 years old and am dating my high school sweetheart, Dylan, who is now a PFC in the Marine Corps. Our story is a rather complicated one. We met each other our freshman year in high school and hit it off immediately! However, we were both young and didnt know what the heck we wanted. It worked for a while, then we both went our seperate ways. He became a huge partier and was definitey getting around the block if ya know what I mean. We tried a couple of times to make things work and he just never wanted to be fully committed so I let him be! In the meantime I was off and on in other relationships. Dylan and I stayed good friends all throughout high school but it was hard seeing what he was doing because I never completely lost feelings for him. We graduated together last year and the relationship I had been in ended soon after. So once again, Dyan and I started talking and hanging out over the summer of last year. Strangely to me, things were actually working out. I was happier than I had been in a long time and I loved how it felt. Not only did he earn the title of my boyfriend again, he became my best friend. I wasnt always the most faithful girlfriend in my relationships, but for once I actually wanted to be and I could see that he did too. So then, I find out he had enlisted into the Marine Corps. I was ecstatic but at the same time unbelievably sad because I knew he would have to leave for bootcamp. In October of last year he left for 12 weeks. Our relationship stayed strong while he was gone, considering the only source of communication he had with anyone was via letters. However, the whole time he was gone I couldnt stop worrying about the “what ifs” or what would possibly come. In January, I travelled to San Diego for his graduation and to be reunited after what seemed like the longest 12 weeks of my life not getting to see him or hear his voice . It was fantastic may I just say! I felt like all of my worries had went away. He then came home for 2 weeks of leave and it was the best 2 weeks of my life. During the time he was home we made so many memories. He left again in the beginning of February for another 16 weeks of training 🙁 Having to say goodbye was the hardest thing Ive had to do and thats when all of my negative thinking started. On the weekends, he has liberty and is allowed to have his phone and do what he pleases. Since he’s been gone, I cannot stop thinking about what I would do if I lost this man. It’s extremely hard because I have insecurites that I cant seem to conquer. I’ve always been a confident person.. but trying to get over the past has brought me down so much. I’ve always felt like I had to “compete” with all of the other girls from his high school days. I then find myself constantly comparing myself and it comes down to me never feeling like Im not good enough for him. My negativity has literally taken over my life since he’s been gone! On the weekends, instead of enjoying the time I get to talk to him on the phone, or text, or Skype… Im worrying about things like him talking to other girls, meeting/hanging out with other girls, not being faithful.. the list goes on and on! I try so hard to use the positive things to make me feel better but I feel like my mind always drifts back to the past and the way he used to be. I have a fear that he misses his old ways. Its even harder when everyone tells me.. there’s no way somebody could change THAT much! Dylan had never told another girl he loved them until me. He tells me things that I nor anyone else could ever imagine him saying. He tells me that he wants to marry me and wants me there on base with him the second I can be. He never fails to tell me how much I mean to him and how I’m the reason he changed. Why can’t I get over the negative thoughts!? I need advice on how to ease my mind and simply accept the love he shows me and gives to me.. not question it! I appreciate any and all advice, input, thoughts, or comments 🙂 [/color]

[AskApril Masini]

Long distance relationships are not for everyone. 😉 They take a lot of work, and trust. It sounds like your boyfriend hasn’t given you any reason to mistrust him — except that his past is full of dating and that worries you because you’re separated because of his military work. You’re worried because you don’t know what the future holds and you want to.

My advice is that you take that negative energy and turn it into something positive. Every time you feel worried, go bake a batch of chocolate chip cookies and send them to him with a sweet love letter. Or every time you feel worried, go to the gym and work out so hard you sweat and exhaust yourself! Or volunteer at a military hospital or some other charity or volunteer situation where you’re helping others like your boyfriend, from afar. In other words, work on yourself and re-channel the energy that’s bothering you into good work. 😉

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Member]

Posts