[missmary92]

Hi,

So there’s this guy that I have known for a little over a year now. Over the past 3 months we moved forward in our relationship, that is, that we said that we liked each other, and we’ve kissed and hung out and done a few “couple-ey” things. He is the first guy that I’ve ever been romantically involved with. However, he had not asked me out because he had issues going on and wanted to sort them out first.

My post relates to what happened 3 nights ago between us. Lately his issues have taken a turn for the worse. His parents divorced a year ago and he feels that that situation is getting worse, and one of his roommates has been absolutely terrible to him, mostly verbal abuse, and he’s become severely mentally affected by this, so much so that he’s been told he needs counselling and medicine.

And he basically told me that he can’t handle being in a relationship right now, and that he sees himself constantly disappointing me, and it’s hurting him so badly to see that. He said that he doesn’t want me to wait for him, that if I find someone else to go for it, because he’s not making me happy.

The thing is that I still have feelings for him, and I want to wait for him. I told him that it’s okay that he occasionally disappoints me, and that he does make me happy, but he denied it and said that it wasn’t ok.

I want him to get better and for us to be able to try this again after, no matter how long it takes. We’re still friends, and still talking, it’s just I don’t know if I should be hoping that we can still be together. I don’t want to give up. 🙁

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

Do you have a question for me?

[missmary92]

Should I try to keep this relationship going after he “gets better” or should I just give up now and move on?

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

He’s made it clear he’s not ready for a relationship, and you seem to understand the reasons he’s given you for his not wanting to get involved. When a guy tells you he doesn’t want a relationship, and his behavior matches it, which his seems to, it’s a good idea to pay attention. My advice is that you move on and find someone who is ready to be in a relationship. 😉

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