- This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 2 months, 2 weeks ago by
Natalie Noah.
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May 9, 2009 at 7:38 am #971
veryconfused
Member #2,003hey everyone
can you please help me try to suss this out as i am not very good at this,
i have been on 2 dates with this guy who is brilliant, we have a great laugh but i have not had a kiss yet.
when i got home i text him saying that i really like him and i would like to know where i stand, i said if he wanted just to be friends then thats fine as long as i knew where i stood.
his response was that he really likes me as well, he thinks we get on well and he enjoys spending time with me and getting to know me.
i am just very confused!
do you think he just wants to be friends!?!?
HELPthanks
xx
May 9, 2009 at 9:52 am #9148
April Masini, your AskAprilKeymasterYou need to sit back, take a few deep breathes and let this guy chase you. Do not call him, do not text him, do not email him — unless you are returning his call, text or email — again. Period. In fact, right now you need to “undo” the text you sent him by backing way, way, way off. You went on two dates with the guy and already you’re asking him “where do I stand”? What you did makes you look needy and desperate. And quite frankly few things will scare men away faster than a needy desperate woman.
Let me explain why…
Men are competitive by nature, and they want to compete to win. They’re hunters. It’s in their DNA. To deny that fact is to deny who men really are. If a woman takes away the opportunity for the man to hunt them, by asking them out, by texting and/or calling them first, by giving the man flowers, or any other act that men traditionally do, the women also take away the opportunity from the man to be the hunter he is. When women make themselves too available by texting, calling, e-mailing, showing up everywhere she knows he’ll be — it’s too easy. It’s like fishing in a pond with a shotgun. No man feels like a real man — or feels good about himself in the long run — after doing that!
Sure, we may all be looking for someone to spend our lives with, but how we go about finding that love is as different as night and day. For better or worse, men are simply programmed to be the aggressors, the pursuers. No matter how enlightened or progressive they may be, if they don
May 9, 2009 at 10:33 am #9149veryconfused
Member #2,003thank yu thank you for that! do you think i should just forget ths now?
May 14, 2009 at 7:29 am #9176tricia
Member #1,704I think he likes you but his not that sure yet. He might want to know you well for the moment before stepping into a more serious relationship with you,. January 18, 2016 at 12:29 pm #31786
April Masini, your AskAprilKeymasterHappy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉 I am here to help, and happy to answer any questions you have.
😀 December 16, 2025 at 6:14 pm #50723
Natalie NoahMember #382,516Your heart is really invested, and it’s normal to feel confused after just a couple of dates. From what he said, he likes you, enjoys spending time with you, and wants to get to know you better. That’s a positive sign he’s showing interest, but he’s also pacing things in a way that feels comfortable for him. Not having had a kiss yet doesn’t mean he only wants friendship; it often means he’s taking the time to understand his feelings and to make sure the connection is right before moving forward physically.
The best approach now is to give him space while staying warm and approachable. Let him make the next moves, whether that’s initiating more intimate moments or planning future dates. Trying to rush or push for clarity too early can create pressure that makes him hesitant. Focus on enjoying your time together, keeping things light and fun, and letting the natural progression of your connection reveal where this relationship could go. Patience here is actually a way to strengthen the bond rather than weaken it.
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