[team631]

please help I am a 39 year old man and I have been in a relationship for 5 years the first couple years were very rocky we both had major issues mine was drinking and hers was anger.about a year and a half ago we moved apart.I am coming up on one year sober and she has done some major soul searching as well and does not display the anger she used to she Is a good person..about 1 year ago do with infidelity on my part 1 time I confessed and I’ve never seen the woman again me and my girlfriend have not been very sexual on my part in a long time…I love who she is who she is she is into the things I’m into exercise nutrition like I said she’s a very good person but I am no longer sexually attracted to her and I have not been a long time when I think of the future I do not think of marrying her I do not think of growing old with her I have even told her this…she thinks of me consistently she’s very unselfish I feel like such a piece of trash I feel like a piece of s***..I feel like she deserves better someone who will give her the romance of she needs I do love her and her children and I will always be here for them but after a lifetime of addiction and alcoholism I really feel like I need to stretch my wings and find out who I am I work out a lot I hide a lot I spend a lot of time with my dogs and a relationship seems like it’s teather’s me to my past..I have a desire to be sexual but not with her and I know this is some form of abuse on my part its not right to her I don’t want to hurt her and if I did lose her I would be hurt what do i do do I man up and break everything or man up and realize there’s a someone who really loves me and learn to love her the way she loves me please help I’ve been going back and forth of my mind with this for years

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, it’s extremely difficult to read your post because there is pretty much no punctuation. It’s hard to read someone’s question when they don’t use periods or question marks. 😳 But I’ll do the best I can. I hope that if you write in, in future, you’ll punctuate for me. 😉

Clearly you have to break up with this woman because you’re not attracted to her. You want to spread your wings, as you put it, and have sex with other women. There’s nothing wrong with that. What’s wrong is staying in a relationship with someone you know isn’t right for you because a) you’re fearful of being alone, and b) because at age 39 you’re settling for someone who loves you, but to whom you’re not attracted. 😕

You need to break up with her, be single and continue your healthy life and see what it brings you. 🙂

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[team631]

Thankyou for your response.I guess where I struggle is I feel guilty.You are right Idont want to be alone.This women genuinely cares about me and I for her.She has been with me through the hard times..I find myself spending large amounts of time away from her but also keeping myself from new relationships aswell.I want to do the right thing that is all,thankyou again.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome.

I understand you feel guilty, but just because you have a feeling doesn’t mean you should act on it. 😉 Maturity means recognizing your feelings, but then not being solely driven by them. If we all did what we felt, we’d be living in chaos. It’s okay to feel badly that she’s not getting what she wants, and that you can’t give it to her. But it’s not okay to limit her chances of finding Mr. Right by being her Mr. Right Now — when you don’t even want to be that person. She deserves to find real love and so do you. That means going your separate ways. Time heals all wounds, and you’ll feel better after you take care of business and move on. 🙂

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[team631]

Thankyou so much.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

😀 😀

[Member]

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