[Kaskadedeadmau5]

A guy approached me thru Instagram dm chat while he was in Texas for work for 2 weeks. He was from my city and talked to a lot of people I knew. I wasnt interested but he seemed genuine, sweet, not a player,and mature for being 25. He asked if we could go on a date when he arrived home from Texas. He texted me a lot throughout the days in Texas. The day he came back we went on our date. It went great and he was respectful. We did not kiss. The next day he said maybe we can see a movie later today. I said yes and we continued to text. He always texted me more. That evening he didn’t mention the movies. He finally told me,” My knee is hurting really bad, I couldn’t go up the stairs, I’m really sorry can we go tomorrow? I really do want to see you.” I told him are you serious I got ready but I’ll just change.” He felt bad and asked what times the movies and he didn’t want to do that to me so he would go. Then he texted me or do you want to come over herebusy watch movies? He lives ten minutes away. I said yes and wondered if he was picking me up. He then asked if I was ready and sent me his address. It was not a good sign to me that he didn’t want to pick me up but I didn’t say anything because he was injured and I was going to his house. When I arrived, his knee was injured. We talked very well and since we had two weeks of talking all day every day, the distance made me want him to kiss me already. He made a sweet move and kissed me. I was too forward and couldn’t help myself. I initiated to have sex and he didn’t turn it down. I asked him before we were if this would make him see me as a fuck buddy. I told him I was scared because I’d never had sex with someone who wasn’t my official boyfriend and didn’t want sex to change things. He passed every question and seemed genuine. It ended romantic and sweet. He texted me when I was home and the next days. He said several times he was locked down and only wanted me. I asked him if he liked open relationships and told him I didn’t but I’m not judging you if you do. He said he didn’t want that and he wouldn’t open up to someone if we were seeing other people. The next days I see him liking girls photos on Instagram from here. 3 in total. One girl dmed me that she noticed our photo comments on Instagram and wondered if we were dating because he messaged her. I was so upset but didn’t tell him because he stopped texting and responding for two days. I saw on Instagram he went to a baseball game with all guys one night. The second day of no speaking, I texted him saying a girl messaged me that you hit on her. I know were single but you told me several times you wanted tomdate only me and for me to do the same. You even told me you wouldn’t give any girl signals. I told him you lied to me when you didn’t even have to. You could have said let’s take it slow and maybe it wouldn’t havew been so bad for u to have your options open until we became serious. He responded saying,”oh wow I hate the valley so much people can’t mind their own business well I’m sorry that had to happen to you but I meant everything I told you. Yes I messaged her but damn this is just drama I am sorry.” Then I told him maybe you just want to be single I’m really confused can you help me? He didn’t respond until the next day and said sorry I’ve been super busy helping my mom for her party next weekend. He was in Mexicali which is 20 minutes from us and there is no cell signal there so I forgave him. He still stopped texting like before though. Finally he texted me a bit and I told him you know If you don’t want commitment right now that’s fine but just be honest with me OK another girl would’ve been super angry with you. I then told him I don’t want to be fuck buddies but as long as he’s honest he can be free to do what he wants as were getting to know each other. He responded,” it was real, you know all of it and the sex was real to me, I thought we were just getting to know each other,what do you mean fake sex and fake relationships I don’t want that and yes be honest.” Then I sent him four texts explaining that we can continue and I won’t need commitment just for him to tell me what’s going on, for the emotions to be real, and for it to not be fuck buddies. He didn’t respond. I feel so stupid. I feel like a slut. I don’t want to lose him so I said that. I also thpught if I made myself sound lenient and not judging he would be honest with me. Lately all the guys I know and relationships are liars so I thought by building this honesty relationship it would help but he never responded. I feel stupid!!!! Help!!!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Let me help you get a little perspective. 😉 You met a guy online and had two dates. You slept with him on the second date and he told you he wasn’t going to date anyone else. That turned out not to be true. And now, you’re mad. I get it, but….. Here’s your reality check: Use the first three months of dating someone to decide if you want to continue dating them. And if at the end of three months you decide you do want to continue dating, and he does, too, use the second three months of dating to decide if you want to be monogamous or not. t’d assume he’s doing the same. It’s too soon for someone to call monogamy after two dates. If you like him, and want to keep dating him, then you should, but do so with your eyes open. 😉 When you meet someone on Instagram or any other social media, understand that they’re meeting other people, the same way, as well. The chance that you’re the only one — after only two dates — defies any mathematical equation you can come up with. 🙂 If you keep this reality in mind, you won’t wind up feeling victimized or upset because you’ll understand the dating landscape a little better.

[Member]

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