[ladythyck]

Hello, I stumbled across your website looking for advice on how to heal a broken heart let go and move on and I need some advice extremely badly when you have a moment. Here’s my story….. My boyfriend of two and a half years recently split up about a month and a half ago, the reason we broke up is because I found some emails that he was sending and receiving of himself (private parts) to another man on Craig’s list, my heart is broken and although I asked him to leave the home I’m still very much in love with him and I think about him everyday when I confronted him about the emails he said that he never participated in the actual act and that he was looking into strange fetishes, but the emails had conversations of the other guy asking my boyfriend what side of town was he on and my boyfriend responded back saying what side of town he lived on and that he didn’t live alone and that he has a friend’s house he could go over. I’m not sure what to do because I still love him and part of me still wanted to be with him, he keeps saying that nothing never ever happened and that he still loves me and wants to be with me and that we could work on us and trying to rebuild the trust, but I don’t know what to believe or to do I have been talking with my friends and family about the situation and they all say the best thing is to let him go but the decision is up to me in the end, part of me wants to let go because I just don’t know what to believe but part of me still wants to hold on, I’ve been asking him to come and talk to me he says that he’s coming but never shows, I’ll call him he wont answer, I’ll text him he wont respond, I’m left with a bunch of heartache, pain, doubt, wonder, hope, still in love, changes in appetite sometimes I eat and sometimes I dont, tearfulness, helpless, hopeless, sad and empty, lack of interest in activities, feeling worthless & questions that aren’t answered and still holding to hope of somehow thinking we could work on rebuilding the trust but because he wont respond to me I’m angry and I’ve decided to just let go but my heart wont let go and I don’t know how to let go I haven’t seen him in three weeks I’m sure he isn’t coming back after all that time has passed, all I seem to do is cry everyday, my heart is in so much pain and now I’m struggling with letting him go. What do I do?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You made the right decision to break up and move on, but break ups are hard in pretty much any circumstance, and after two and a half years, this is a long term break up. 😳 Even though what he did was break-up worthy, it doesn’t mean your feelings for him weren’t valid — at the time — and that’s why you’re having trouble moving on. But you have to move on. And…. there are no short cuts, but there ARE things you can do to make the healing process more complete and less painful. Here are some tips: Stay busy and keep your schedule booked with positive friends and family. Use the time you now have to do things you always wanted to do, but never did — like join a gym, take up a new sport, volunteer at a cancer center or a veteran’s hospital, etc. Focus on yourself and give yourself a makeover — whether it’s a great haircut, a new color or just a mani/pedi and a massage. And be open to meeting new men. In other words, smile at everyone. Start small talk. Flirt. And remember why you broke up with him — there was no future with someone who was doing what he did, and who’s excuse was that he hadn’t acted on his e-mails…. yet. 😕 You dodged a bullet and now you have to regroup and move on. You’ll be much better off.

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