[Anonymous]

Last August my husband of 22 years left me and moved to GA. I was left with 4 kids still at home, a parttime job, and a full college class load. I had never driven, paid a bill or lived on my own. I learned how to drive and got my liscence, found 2 more jobs, sent him money to live on and kept my 4.0 gpa.
At the same time a man I work with separated from his wife. We started talking and ended up agreeing to get together for coffee. Ok- so that wasn’t coffee. We ended up sleeping together. We have a tremendous amount in common, although he is a lot younger than I am. Here’s the thing- his wife came back. She is quite a bit younger than HE is. And pregnant. We continued to flirt and text for a while then he decided he wanted to make his marriage work so now we are just friends. Sort of. I catch him looking at me at work and we still have long conversations about some pretty deep subjects. He tells me that I don’t think enough of myself and that I am a beautiful, smart, incredible, sexy woman. He doesn’t have a car and I drive him home occasionally. I don’t really want a Capital “R” Relationship right now but when I see him with his wife my heart just HURTS.
Meanwhile my husband is back in the are and wants to jump back into marriage and “be a family”. I won’t let him live in the house and I don’t want to be married. We are in mediation but I can’t get him to understand I WANT OUT. The stress is killing me! HELP!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s not your job to “get him to understand” you want out. He left you. He came back. You don’t want him any more. Just file for divorce. It’s that easy.

It seems your ex-boyfriend may have been right when he said you don’t think enough of yourself. If you did, you wouldn’t have sent money to your husband when he left you with four children and a full load of work and school. Decide to be your best self for the sake of your children — AND YOURSELF! 😉

Your heart will continue to break if you don’t move on with your life. Your ex-boyfriend is back with his pregnant wife, so let him go. He’s not yours. He has a family he’s chosen to be with. But you have your whole life in front of you and you have your work cut out for you, too. Try and think with your head more than your heart right now.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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