[Patrick]

Hey April,
I’m Patrick, 23 and I just broke up with my girlfriend Keisha after a year. It wasn’t messy or anything, but it hit me way harder than I thought. At first I thought I was fine, but now I can’t stop thinking about her, and it’s messing with my mood and focus at school/work. I thought I already moved on from her, but no….
I’ve tried keeping busy, hanging out with friends, picking up new stuff, but I still feel stuck. Part of me still hopes we might get back together, even though I know that’s probably not a good idea.
I just wanna move on and feel like myself again, but don’t know how without bottling up my feelings or rushing into something new.
I kept telling myself that we’re over, I should really move on now. But, I don’t think I really can.
How do you get over someone you really cared about?
What does a healthy relationship even look like?
How do you know when you’re ready to love again?

[Logan]

You asked what a healthy relationship is. I think it’s one where you feel “Safe”, “Seen”, and “Supported”. If you’re feeling is so “stuck” after the breakup, then maybe the relationship was more “dependency” and less “partnership”. In a healthy relationship, both partners maintain their own unique identities.
You stop trying to run away and accept the reality. Until you accept that yes, it hurts and it’s normal, you won’t be able to update to the new version.

[Member]

Posts