[Alborzftw]

I’m a 19 year old male going out with a 20 year old girl. We went out on what we both agreed was supposed to be a date about half a year ago and talked for hours and had a blast but there was no chemistry at all. Unlike any date I’ve been on, it felt like we were friends with no sexual interest talking to each other, despite the fact that I am attracted to her. Maybe we were just too compatible and had too much to talk about, I don’t know.

Anyway, I after breaking up with my girlfriend I decided to ask her for a second date much later, since six months ago we both were busy and I started dating someone else. She said yes and seemed pretty excited and I really think I have a ton in common with this girl, by far more than any I have ever even met, so I really want to make it work. The last time we talked about interesting stuff like philosophy, religion, personal anecdotes, etc. but there was no chemistry. What kind of conversations would turn the date in that direction? Usually my first dates heat up pretty fast, but maybe it doesn’t always work out that way and I should be patient and wait for the tension.

Thanks for the advice!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you’ve got intellectual compatibility — but there was no flirting as a catalyst for the attraction you felt. Flirting is a great tool to let someone know you’re interested and at the same time, to open the door to their flirting back. 😎 Start by complimenting her on something personal — it could be her eyes, the way she moves, her sense of humor — whatever works. Then make sure you touch her — her hand, for emphasis while you’re talking, her back, as you’re guiding her through a crowd or a doorway, or brush hair from her face while she’s talking. These are behaviors that move your date from no chemistry, to affectionate, sensual and flirty. If you feel things are working with these tips, go in for a kiss – you don’t have to wait for the end of the night. 😉

[Member]

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