[Eras123]

Hi!

I am writing in because I am completely at a loss as for how to progress, and need advice! So, I have a friend, we are hot 17 and have recently graduated from high school. I’ve known her for about a year now, and have developed strong feelings for her. This girl is like no one else, she is smart, cute, she has a body that I find very attractive, and we both share many common interests. My problem is that I don’t know if she feels the same way. She is very hard to read, as she is very friendly with everyone, for example, she hugs them a lot, puts her arms around them. However, she seldom does this with me. The way I see this is that she either is too shy to do this to me, or she just doesn’t want to. I also can be ignorant when it comes to flirting, as one of my other friends said she flirted with me at one point (I am not sure of the validity of this though.) We have shared the occasional short eye contact and smile, but other than that, I am not sure if she has flirted with me, or how to flirt with her effectively. I know that once I say I like her, it will stay there, and our relationship will change regardless of whether my feelings are reciprocated, but I like her too much to just let this go. Time is also working against me, as we both start university in the next month, and if I don’t act soon, I may lose my chance forever. So what is your opinion on this? Do you think I have a chance? Why way should I approach flirting with her and how can I do this? I would really like to be with this girl, I am just not sure how to begin.

Thanks!

[AskApril Masini]

All good questions! 🙂

You should definitely move forward with her, but don’t come right out and tell her you like her. It’s too much pressure on her, too soon. Instead, flirt with her by smiling at her, complimenting her, inviting her to do things, asking her about herself, getting her opinion on things and doing small things for her that are a little out of the ordinary for “just friends”, like buying her a coffee, carrying things for her, opening doors for her, offering to walk her home, etc. After doing those things — which are all forms of flirting — you should invite her to a movie, lunch, dinner, coffee — basically, a first date. Focus on spending time with her, rather than confessing your feelings. In other words, make it about her and getting to know her, winning her over — not you and your need to have your feelings validated. That will come in time. 😉

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go!

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Eras123]

Hi!

Thanks for the advice, it is really good. I have another couple of questions if you don’t mind. How long should flirt for before asking her on a ‘first date’? And another thing about her is that she doesn’t like it when she is paid for of shouted (she declined 50c from me even!), and she is slightly tomboyish. Are there things that I can do to work with this? I enjoy all of these traits with her, but it can make it difficult to advance sometimes.

Thanks!

[AskApril Masini]

You can flirt with her for a week or two before asking her out on a date. Obviously, offer to pay — if she insists otherwise, you can tell her that you’d love to pay for this date, but in exchange, if she’d make a picnic lunch for a hike on a later date, or make you some great chocolate chip cookies, you’d consider the score even. 😉

Hope that helps!

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Member]

Posts