[[hawt.n.bothered]]

*sorry, my English is not good – not my native language*

Most people may advise you to move on thinking that both of you are not meant to be, not compatible and because of continuous arguements over petty stuff. And you both suffer. However, because of the sweet memories or [i]habits[/i], you tend to fight through it; thinking that everything will be over and you become delusional about hope and some sort miracles could just happen along the way. What if there’s none?

April, apparently, I am one of those delusional people. Friends have been advising me that this guy is no good and I should move on. I broke up like 10 times a year. Pathetic right? And I do struggle and wouldn’t give up easily thinking that this guy is the one. Few days ago, I got dumped again 😥. Today he dropped all my stuff in front of my door, didn’t get to see him but when I found them, I broke down. He’s being serious this time.

I want him back. What should I do to win his heart back? Some say, you’ve got to play hard-to-get and some say leave this garbage which, I think I can’t. I sound so desperate right? LOL. YES I AM!

[Ask April Masini]

I wasn’t sure if this was a post that stood on it’s own or part of some longer chain of posts on the same problem so I took a look at your past posts, and realized this is a new problem you’re writing me about, HOWEVER, the advice YOU’VE given other readers here is so clear headed and level that you should read what you advised other people! If you can take the advice you gave other people, you’d be a lot happier!

Clearly, breaking up ten times a year means something is fundamentally wrong in your relationship. 😮 Why did you break up ten times in a year? What was this break up about? Is there a common thread running through the problem/s you have? Also how old are you and how old is he? How long have you been dating?

Let me know the answers to those questions and I can help you more clearly. However I will say that if a woman is in a dysfunctional relationship like yours where the guy dumps her and she wants him back over and over, she’s going to know misery up close and personal until the pain gets too great for her to bear. If you insist on staying without changing any of your behavior you’re going to be in pain until you reach your “bottom” or the point when you just can’t take it any more. For some people that’s decades of misery. I really hope you can tell me what it is you love about this guy and why you want to stay with someone who dumps your belongings on your doorstep and leaves them there. 😕

Look forward to hearing from you and hoping I can help.

Please join me on Facebook, too. I’d love to have you as an invited guest on AskApril.com on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[[hawt.n.bothered]]

Hey April, my age is 23 and he’s 27. Well we argued a lot cause things didn’t go accordingly the way we expected from one another. We had plans to get married (dated for almost 3 years) and along the way he found his dream career so sometimes he can be a bit egoistic and his expectations were getting tremendously higher. *sigh* For instance, I am still doing my final year degree and sometimes he couldn’t stand my “student’s lifestyle”. hahah I am laazzzyyy. And he wanted a housewife material girl friend, which I am so NOT capable of.

The thing is, we did communicate a lot but I don’t know why it seems like our communication was sort of.. umm ineffective? That is why we argued so much that whenever one arguement was done, we automatically knew what to do or to avoid that particular issue. It’s like a routine already, more like a vicious cycle though (for me). Oh, he has a bad temper and may say hurtful things (during fights) or to dump me just like that and boy, I will always go back to him.

I don’t know April, some people will always want to work things out and yet they already knew that their partners aren’t good enough or rationally, they knew it is NOT going to work out. Some are afraid of the truth/reality so they might assume that as long as there’s still love, there will be hope. I have friends still keeping their partners even though there are cheatings and lies in the re/ship. Strange how love can fool you into a victim. Anyway, my ex is now begging to get me back and he vows to be a better person. Sounds so cliche huh whenever one asks for forgiveness.

But… I kinda like my “single” life now. 😀

[Ask April Masini]

If you like being single, and you’ve broken up ten times in one year, and you have compatibility issues (he wants a career and a housewife, and you like your student lifestyle), then you shouldn’t get back with him. You’re not ready and maybe at some point in the future when you’ve graduated college and are in the workforce you’ll be more compatible. But right now you’re going to keep fighting, breaking up and getting back together — but with less and less frequency.

If your friends are all in relationships where they allow for lying and cheating 😯 you may want to seek out some new friends. It would be nice if you had the support of a community who felt healthy and honest relationships were the ones to strive for. You’d be happier, too.

I hope that helps.

Join me on Facebook. I’d love to have you at AskApril.com on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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