[hoping]

I’ve written in the past. This man that I have fallen for is as tough as they come. I’m not. All I want is for someone somewhere to tell me if there’s something going on that I can’t see. He phones me every night and just by chance he doesn’t, the next night he explains why he didn’t. I never asked. I am seriously considering moving to another state and he’s having a fit. He says it’s not a good idea because of the economy. He is always bringing up things on the news when people get hurt trying to teach me to be more careful. I have written another site with this similar question and my answer was to listen very carefully to the song “I’m not in love” by 10cc. I listened and I hear a man lying about not being in love. The words make me think of the man I’m speaking of. I’ve known him very well for 4 years. We’re both single. I’m an optimist and he’s a pessimist (even though he calls it being a realist) I am so lost in my thoughts you have no idea. He calls, makes me laugh, warns me about life and seems to tell me that he cares in his own way. But is that just me? I have nobody to talk to about this and wish so much I did. Please, if anyone sees something I don’t, let me in on it. I know you’re not a mind reader but I would like something positive. I give myself negative thoughts and when I do, my intuiation always tells me I’m wrong. I’d love to hear something positive if that’s possible. I’m wiling to wait if I only thought that there was something to wait for. To me, he’s so worth it. Thank you.

[Ask April Masini]

First of all, you have to let me know more. How old are you both? Have you actually dated? I know you’ve written that you’ve known him for four years, but have you gone on a date?

It’s very romantic to get lost in your own thoughts, but it doesn’t help the relationship to do so. 😕 Tell me what is going on in real life since I don’t know your previous posts. I look forward to hearing more from you so I can give you some good advice. And in the meantime, please join me on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Anonymous]

I know what you’re going to think when I tell you we’re both in our 40″s. I should know better. Yes, we’ve spent time together and even though it was absolutely wonderful, I don’t know if I’d consider it a date. Evidently, he has been terribly hurt in his past. He’s told me only a little bit of it and it wasn’t good. I can also say that I have been hurt much worse than him which he knows all about. For some reason, I’m willing to pick myself up and try again with him if that’s what meant to be. Is it true that women are stronger than men with these things? Or are we dumber because we pick ourselves up faster? I see him as being extremely cautious with people in general. And I mean cautious. Here’s another reason why I’m confused. He consistantly brings up my past relationships reminding me how I was misled. I was once married. He never was. One time, I mentioned to him that how much I cared about a man just a couple of years ago. He brought up every single reason why that man wasn’t good enough for me. He still brings that subject up to this day even when I ask him not to. I used to be able to talk with him about everything under the sun getting great advice. Lately, should I bring up anything, and I mean anything, that has to do with my possibly moving or any man that I think is just nice or has been nice to me, you’d think it was the end of the world. It didn’t used to be that way between us and I admit, it hurt. It wasn’t until someone at work let me in on the idea that he has real feelings about me. They’re very reliable and when I said they were crazy they’ve told me on several occasions that I will “find out they’re right one day.” Now what once hurt has turned to confusion. We are completely opposite when it comes to “feelings.” He laughs at me when I cry over a movie or a sad story. I feel like such a child wondering if the words to that song I’ve mentioned are true for him. To sum it all up, I don’t know what to think. The truth is that before he came into my life, I had no desire to ever get involved with anyone seriously again. If you knew why, you’d understand. Now there’s this man that has changed my thinking about that. There’s many more stories but I think I’ve said enough. Every time I tell myself to let it all go, he says something to make me think that fate is asking me to hold on a bit longer. Again, I should know better. I don’t. Thank you so very much for just reading this. It feels nice to get it all out.

[hoping]

I know what you’re going to think when I tell you we’re both in our 40″s. I should know better. Yes, we’ve spent time together and even though it was absolutely wonderful, I don’t know if I’d consider it a date. Evidently, he has been terribly hurt in his past. He’s told me only a little bit of it and it wasn’t good. I can also say that I have been hurt much worse than him which he knows all about. For some reason, I’m willing to pick myself up and try again with him if that’s what meant to be. Is it true that women are stronger than men with these things? Or are we dumber because we pick ourselves up faster? I see him as being extremely cautious with people in general. And I mean cautious. Here’s another reason why I’m confused. He consistantly brings up my past relationships reminding me how I was misled. I was once married. He never was. One time, I mentioned to him that how much I cared about a man just a couple of years ago. He brought up every single reason why that man wasn’t good enough for me. He still brings that subject up to this day even when I ask him not to. I used to be able to talk with him about everything under the sun getting great advice. Lately, should I bring up anything, and I mean anything, that has to do with my possibly moving or any man that I think is just nice or has been nice to me, you’d think it was the end of the world. It didn’t used to be that way between us and I admit, it hurt. It wasn’t until someone at work let me in on the idea that he has real feelings about me. They’re very reliable and when I said they were crazy they’ve told me on several occasions that I will “find out they’re right one day.” Now what once hurt has turned to confusion. We are completely opposite when it comes to “feelings.” He laughs at me when I cry over a movie or a sad story. I feel like such a child wondering if the words to that song I’ve mentioned are true for him. To sum it all up, I don’t know what to think. The truth is that before he came into my life, I had no desire to ever get involved with anyone seriously again. If you knew why, you’d understand. Now there’s this man that has changed my thinking about that. There’s many more stories but I think I’ve said enough. Every time I tell myself to let it all go, he says something to make me think that fate is asking me to hold on a bit longer. Again, I should know better. I don’t. Thank you so very much for just reading this. It feels nice to get it all out. One more thing. He says “I don’t “see” what’s right in front of me. ?????

[hoping]

In response to your questions – We are both in our 40’s. We’ve been places together and even though I wouldn’t consider them dates, we had a great time. I’ve been married before. He never has. I know you’re going to say that I should know all of these answers but I don’t. We’ve both been through some hurt in our past. He doesn’t tell me much about his but the little he has, it must have been very bad. He knows all about mine and we both know mine was worse. That’s one mystery. I had feelings for a man a couple of years ago. All I’m told now is all the reasons that man wasn’t good for me. He doesn’t even know him! Then there’s the famous line I hear all the time. “You don’t see some things that are right in front of your eyes.” When I ask him what it is I’m not seeing, he just chuckles. To me that comment could mean anything in life. We used to discuss anything and everything. I learned a lot from him. Now I have to be careful that I don’t bring up moving away or any man who I think has been nice to me. First he says that everything’s fine when I talk about either subject then after a few minutes, he seems to change his mind. He goes on and on why I have to be careful around people I don’t really know and how much my friends here would miss me if I moved away. I used to be able to talk to him about anything. Now he seems to get upset with those subjects. At first, that hurt but someone at work swears to me that this guy cares more about me than I know. She’s reliable and she always says that one day I’ll find out she’s right. That song I mentioned in my other post confuses me but if that’s what I have going on with him, I’ll be happy to wait. Thank you for reading this. I had no plans on ever getting involved with another man ever and if you knew why, you’d understand. Now I have this guy that I’m really starting to care for and every time I tell myself that I’m wrong, my intuition tells me that he does care. I don’t want to fool myself anymore. I do believe in fate but I didn’t think that it believed in me. There’s one more thing that really puzzles me. He says he hates it when I compliment his ways or something he’s done. Then he’ll remind me at times of what I said about him. I don’t need reminding of that. I’m the one that told him. But I tell him again because I like to. If you see something bad, tell me softly. I just hope you see just a sheer sign of hope. That’s all I need. Thanks again.

[Ask April Masini]

Your questions are shrouded in mystery. 😆 What exactly are you hiding here??

Here’s what I’ve gathered so far from your posts: Okay, so you’re both in your 40s, and you’re divorced, but he’s never been married. The two of you have [i]never dated[/i] although you’ve known each other for four years now.

It sounds like you want him to ask you out on a date and if that’s the case, I strongly suggest you get Think & Date Like A Man and READ IT [i]pronto!! [/i] Here’s the link to buy the book (it’s only $15.95) and you can download it right away: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

Let me know if that helps. And in the meantime, join me on Facebook. You can become a free member of AskApril.com on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

[Author]

Posts