[periklouie]

We work for the same company so sometimes I see her at work. It all came too fast and she first started to say big words like she is in love and she is afraid she will lose me etc.
Then she started say that she doesn’t feel the same way and that she is suffocating on the idea to be in a relationship. That happened about 50 days ago.
I acted needy and begged her to meet me. She refused, we fought I said bad things and she blocked me from every social.
I attempted to talk her at work several times bus she insisted no. After 15 days we had a small talk but I put pressure on her to meet me out of work and she told me that she does not want any contact.
2 hours later she text me “I don’t know if i should text this or not.. Nevertheless I wanted to text this because you made me feel bad because i don’t want to talk to you. What really happens is that when i can’t handle a situation then I leave it. I can not continue to think about it and discuss it. Although I don;t want to talk to you anymore, I want you to be well. I had been in pressure, I was pissed off form time to time, but whatever happened, happened, there are no bad feelings left. i just don’t want to talk to you because there is no point in this. Sorry for being paranoid.. ”
I replied to her that she is right and i am the one to blame cause i couldn’t handle the situation and i am really sorry. i apologised.
Now it is day 4 we have no contact. I promised myself i will not contact her for at least a month. i will not “accidentally” bumped on her at work as i used to.
Is ther any chance?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

No. This is over.

A couple of things to look out for when you’re dating — if someone starts to come on really strong within the first few months of dating, be wary. Those fast romances that feel dizzy and wonderful, end just as quickly. People who are impulsive and say the L word too early in the relationship, will often break up with you just as quickly. So slow down and watch out for people you date who are moving too fast. That speed goes both ways — in and out of relationships.

Next, understand that being needy and appearing desperate, aren’t attractive qualities and they won’t draw people to you — they’ll repel them, instead. So find your confidence and show those you date that you’re into them, but you’re okay without them, too. You’ll attract a lot more people that way. 😉

And lastly, remember that if you’re having so much drama in the first four months, this isn’t a healthy relationship and the fighting so early on is a sign that you’re not compatible with that person, or you’re not ready to be in a relationship (for any number of reasons).

So, I’m sorry you’re disappointed, but I think you’re going to be much happier if you move on and find someone who is more compatible with you, to date. 🙂

[Sally]

When someone goes from intense feelings to nothing, it feels unreal, like the ground dropped out from under you. And seeing her at work just keeps reopening it.
I’m going to be honest with you, but kind. Right now, she’s not in a place where she wants any connection with you. She told you that clearly, even if it hurts like hell to hear. The blocking, the asking for no contact, the way she shuts down when things get emotional that’s her way of protecting herself, not punishing you.
Is there a chance someday? Maybe. But not if you’re waiting, watching, or hoping. The only thing that ever softens a situation like this is real distance and real change, not silence with hope attached.
You’re doing the right thing by stepping back. Keep that promise to yourself not for her, but for you. Right now, healing matters more than answers.

[Tara]

There is no chance, and you personally destroyed whatever microscopic chance once existed.
She didn’t just lose feelings. She felt suffocated, then harassed, then disrespected, then forced to defend herself at work. That’s the full progression. You didn’t “act needy.” You crossed boundaries repeatedly after she explicitly told you to stop. That’s not romance — that’s pressure, and pressure kills attraction instantly.
Read her message again, slowly, without hope poisoning your brain. She said:
“I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”
“There is no point.”
“I leave situations I can’t handle.”
“I want you to be well away from me.”
That is a final exit statement, not an emotional opening. The text wasn’t an invitation it was guilt relief. She wanted to clear her conscience, not restart anything with you.
Apologizing didn’t help you. It just confirmed her decision. From her perspective, you proved her right that you couldn’t regulate yourself, couldn’t respect her, and couldn’t let go without forcing interaction.
The workplace behavior was the nail in the coffin. When someone asks for no contact, and you keep trying to “accidentally” run into them, you stop being a rejected ex and start becoming a stressor. That’s why she blocked you. That’s why she shut it down completely.
Your “one month no contact” plan is meaningless if you’re secretly counting days, hoping it resets her feelings. It won’t. Time does not revive attraction after desperation, but it buries it.

[Member]

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