[whoknows]

My boyfriend and myself have been together for 2 years living together we generally get along great we have only been in about 4 fights ever which lasted only a few hours. I do get on him b/c he drinks alot and most of the time when he does is when we got in our fights every sinle one and he is always the first one and last one drinking any where so I do get on him about that just alittle once in awhile. I also know he is very unhappy at his job he is 33 and does not make very much (bearly enough to get by week to week w/ no insurance even) so I push him to get a new job which I do this by helping him send out resumes and tell him the perfect job is out there for him. I myself am working on my bachalors right now for my RN. All of the sudden last month he tells me he wants to break up and hes moving out because he just isnt happy with me because he cant be himself and he wants to do what he wants when he wants and I am controlling him too much. After a week or two of me being comp. heart broken crying every day he decideds he wants to stay together but he just wants to move out still but stay together. He moves out with his friend who is newly divorced so he is dating random girls much much younger then him so they are about 21 which have all there girl friends over getting wasted passing out there.. and another guy who is the same in the since of chasing girls so there house is pretty much a party house going out every night.. He put pictures of me up and tells me to come over and has come over to my house a few times but it just is hard to forgive him and not be embarresed around every one that he were together for two years (living together for two years) and now he lives there, also he left his email open the other night and his ex wrote him a very innocent email she is w/ some one else just saying hi but I saw it and he lied to me about it saying she never emailed him he never responded to it so I dont understand why he couldnt just tell me yea she emailed him it makes me wonder what else he is lieing about.. And tonight I went over there he was wasted drinking all day and I tell him I want to go to this famouse club it is a strip club but it is very famouse and my roommate ( I had to get roommates b/c he moved out and one is a guy which he hooked me up w/ b/c its a friend of a friend and he knew I need a roommate) is going and I told my boyfriend I would like to go some time and of course I woudl want him to go w/ me but he freaked out saying I am a slut I should just go let me fake boobs hang out and go hang out w/ other guys and told me to get the f* out of there and he is going to go hang out w/ other girls too. He took everything I said the wrong way and let me leave well told me to leave and wont answer the phone or call me or anything of course he is drunk but still they are having a party over there and I am here alone. Am I just being stupid for even hanging on to this?

[BOATER]

It doesnt sound to me like you are controlling at all. If anything it sounds like you have given him his space. Most people would view moving out as taking too many steps back but you have decided to hang in there with him. If I were in your shoes I would take a step back myself. Dont do it for him do it for yourself. It sounds like your life is going in the right direction and his isnt. Dont let his issues wreck your life. In the end all you can do is give it time and hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I’m sure this doesnt help much but just so you know it sounds like you have been very understanding and patient.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.

[Member]

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