[Anonymous]

Hello, I’m 15 years of age (soon to be 16 this friday) and basically my problem is a little more complex than the title makes out. Basically this is the relationship with my girlfriend (of a year and 2 months) so far in a nutshell:

– Met in science
– had first kiss
– revealed the secret and took LOADS of abuse from other kids
– pretended to break up which caused more problems
– cheated on me and kissed another boy
– we talked it over after a month of “hardcore death” arguing
– back together
– I got drunk in a nightclub on holiday and woke up to see someone showing me a picture of me kissing a 14 year old and he had one of my girlfriends friends numbers so I confessed before she found out first
– relationship on a knife edge my mum invited her over for tea
– I wrote her a song with the rest of my holiday I had left and played it to her when I got back and she fell in love with me again (corny I know)

and now here we are a year and 2 months into it but since our 1 year anniversary the littlest thing seems to have caused an argument. A quick example would be that I tried to hug her from behind at school and she liked it but she tried to walk away without even telling me then claims I held her back and hurt her (not the main problem, just an example) we didn’t speak for 3 days because of that… and THAT is pathetic I think. Basically anything rattled her cage whether she is on her period or not and recently we was really sexually close in my bed one night (please don’t lecture me about being underage as we do understand the risks and we have never tried before, although I confess to you we have talked about it). So basically we kiss, exchange very personal “handshakes” until all of a sudden I cough and my finger slips… uh oh (girlfriends mood: 😀 –> 👿 ) she has never ever liked me even attempting to finger her. NEVER. I don’t understand why but I respect the fact that it’s something she isn’t yet comfortable with, however it annoys me that she whispers teasing things to me about sex but is not even brave enough to even attempt to handle my 4th finger which hardly compares to the girth of a penis anyway. It wasn’t even a hard slip but basically this was the words exchanged and please excuse my language.

Me: OMG I’m sorry
GF: WHAT THE FUCK!>!?!?! you meant to do that!!!!!
Me: No I fucking didn’t
GF: fuck off

So yeah you can see my problem when she asked for more 5 minutes later, I nervously agreed and began stroking her clitoris again but quickly stopped as I was shaking from the fright of slipping again. When I stopped she questioned me vigorously until eventually I said “I’m not in the mood”. which of course lead to the sexist male-bashing comment of “HA!! A boy not in the mood?!” I got angry and told her to leave and we have spoken once since that night. My birthday is coming up as I mentioned and she is sleeping over friday. Luckily she is on her period but I can feel another argument coming on.

All I’m asking from you is just some comforting advice I’m too scared to even touch her, hug her or kiss her now in fear of starting an argument for not having wet lips or something stupid. I may sound stupid but try and put yourself in my position, a scared young virgin, 15 year old school boy who is practically pussy whipped by his younger girlfriend (15 years old before anyone gets the wrong message). Please tell me some way I can improve my confidence or how we can talk this through. I love her I really do but this relationship is now balancing on a knife edge as far as I’m concerned.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Relax. You’re going to make mistakes and so is she. It’s the nature of being a teenager — in fact, adults make plenty of mistakes, too. If you can accept that you’re both going to make mistakes and that no relationship is perfect, you may be able to put less pressure on yourself and her.

Understand that at your ages hormones play a big part in who you are, and your chemistry can make you a little crazy sometimes. It’s a given. So if she’s moody, she may not be able to help it. That doesn’t mean you have to like it, but if you understand it’s not you, you may be able to tolerate it.

Finally, don’t rush her. It’s important to be sensitive to a woman’s body no matter how old you are, and if she’s afraid to do more than you are, you’d be wise to respect that at 14, she’s not ready. Don’t push her. Don’t get angry at her.

Basically, you need to lighten up on the entire relationship because while you’re clearly very intelligent, you have an idea of what should and shouldn’t be, and the whole process of dating, behaving sexually and sharing emotions that draw you closer, is wobbly by nature. Don’t expect your relationship to be the stuff of movies and you’ll enjoy yourself a lot more, as will she.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this lnk: [url][/url]. 😀

[Member]

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