[KRISTENROSE]

I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and a half, been living together for a year. I am 25 and he is 45 I have a 4 year old son and he has a 20 year old daughter. I moved up to his house, we hang out with his friends, his ex-wife and him have been divorced now for over 7 years and in the last 3 or 4 years they have been best friends. Anytime and mostly everytime we are out he always sees someone he knows and there is always ex girlfriends or women he has dated or women he has been intimitate with. His ex wife and I for the first 6 to 9 months of our relationship I always was very nice trying to gain her approval I guess you can say going out of my way to be nice. Ive invited her over to our house for get togethers and she has never called me to talk or anything but always calls my boyfriend her ex-husband. My boyfriend and I broke up for about 3 weeks because I was sick of hanging around all of the women he was intimate with. Well we decided we want to work things out and we were seeing a therapist and decided we needed to remove ourselves from where ever we are if there was an ex there. Well that has been really great since then. When he told his ex wife we are getting back together she said thats f’in ridiculous. Well long story short my boyfriends business has crumbled and we are in the middle of a foreclosure, he is filing bankruptcy and I have always stayed by him through everything. He admits he has anger problems and he can be very mean, verbally abusive and physcially abusive we have been in. He admits he is hard to be with but I love him very much and will put up with a lot but his ex wife has really been bothering me lately. She always calls him or texts him and sometimes its about theyre daughter but most of the time its petty talk. She has sent him texts reminding him of his court date and just random things. My boyfriend found out that she had been bad mouthing him to all of our friends saying shes glad he is losing his house and he is financially struggling. He confronted her and for the most part he has backed away from her and they dont speak nearly as much, mostly he keeps it to just talking about there daughter. He is still paying for her Jaguar and is almost done, he loans her money here and there. He pays 100 % for theyre daughter, she drives a range rover goes to cosmetology school in another town so he pays her rent/utilities,gas,food and gives her an allowance. I recently just found out that she is only working part time and just a month ago she and her daughter went shopping she always has her nails hair done. Mean while my boyfriend is working 12 hour days stressing out about our financial situation and we have been on a tight budget. He has been very good to my son, we have nice things but we have been trying not to spend lately. Well I said somethign to him about how maybe his ex should get another job or a full time job to help support there child. And he freaks out and thinks I am wrong for saying that. We just moved his daughter in with us this week and its been crazy. We are now not speaking because he is so mad at me because he thinks I am trying to tell him not to pay for his daughter, I HAVE NEVER SAID THAT NOR WOULD I EVER TELL HIM NOT TO SUPPORT HER. But I feel he is going through a financial hardship he should be able to ask his ex to help out a little. Anything is better than nothing. He says he is sick of me complainging about his ex but about a month ago we have a boat and we were out on it and his ex texted him asking if he was out on the lake, her reasoning was because she wanted to meet up and go out there and hang out with us. She is very fake to me, I know she talks bad about me, and I told him that I am not having her out on our boat this summer at all and told him he needed to let her know that we are putting a stop on that. Last summer she would come out and stay all day drinking our stuff never really tried to talk to me except for when I would start the conversation. So I have just had enough. He knows and his parents have even said she doesnt want to see him happy and he has allowed her to take advantage of him. I love him and I am trying to figure out if I am wrong if so then I want to know that and I will stop talking to him about it and never mention anything again. It is starting to really play a big toll on our relationship and thats the last thing I want. I allow him to talk to me very badly, when he is mad is says and does very mean things and I feel I really dont stand up to him enough but his ex wife is one thing I will. He can be very controling and manipulative, he has fractured my wrist last summer and now I am having surgery on it in 3 weeks. I dont go to any of our friends and I have no girlfriends because they live so far away and we never hang out so we just lost touch so my friends are all of his. I need advise.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[i]You and your four year old son are living with a man who has a bad temper and is physically abusive and fractured your wrist so badly you have to have surgery on it.[/i] 😯 Nothing else you’ve written is as important. You need to call the police and report the assault, and be sure to tell you doctor how the fracture happened. You also need to remove your son and yourself from the situation.

This isn’t a problem about your boyfriend or his ex-wife or his adult daughter. This is a problem about you putting yourself and your child in harm’s way. 😳 Violence is never okay. Don’t make an excuse for it. Take responsibility, instead. 😉

My advise is that you get out and move on. To say you can do better with someone else is an understatement.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go for you and your son, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

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