[sia]

I dated a guy from my school for a year. We brokeup last year and i was the one who dumped him because i felt that he was not loyal to me. He tried to convince me fr some months and we even remained friends but after some time lost contact. I have now realised i cannot get anyone better than him and there was so much love involved frm both the side. Few weeks ago i tried to tell him that i still have feelings for him but he said he has moved on and i should too but at the same times some of the things showed that he may have feelings like he was sick and i showed a lot of concern n he was very happy and even said that i still care the most about him. Moreover i feel that when love is true it never vanishes. All our friends used to say that we are madly in love. Plz help me. I need him back

[AskApril Masini]

Since you’re the one who dumped him, after dating for a year, you’re going to have to win him over — and since he’s telling you he’s moved on, that’s not going to be easy. 😕 My advice is to flirt with him, try to be around when he is — without seeming to be too available. Be as attractive to him as you can, which means being successful, social, fun loving, etc.

In other words, show him that you’re there for him, and dial up your game so he feels that he can’t do any better than you. 😎 This may take time and patience on your part, but because you did dump him and he moved on, you’re going to have to put in the time and commitment. 😉

I hope that helps!

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[sia]

Hey thanx for the reply. ..i know I am going to sound very stupid but now the only contact i can have with him is through sms ans maybe calls since i have changed my school…any tips now?

[AskApril Masini]

If you no longer see him, because you’ve changed schools, and don’t live in the same neighborhood, and given the history of you dumping him and then rebuffing his attempts to get back, I think it’s going to be very difficult to try to win him back. Given this new circumstance, I think you should move on. 🙁

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[sia]

So i might seem like a totally insensitive girl with my question but please don’t judge me
So i have a boyfriend
We have been friends for 4 years and we have been dating for more than a year
So the thing is he is not good looking
Whenever someone from my family or my friends look at his picture they are like ok he is not at all good looking or you can find someone better
I have always wanted an attractive man too but after being with him i ignored that he might not be that good looking.. But these constant reactions have started affecting me a little now
Earlier i didnt but now i kind of shy away from showing his picture
Also he is a very romantic and caring person but point is he would only show the love and care occasionally… When he does i do get butterflies but other time i feel that me and him are so different and that he dosent care enough for my wishes
I dnt know what to do anymore
I do love him… Cant spend a day without him but i want things to improve

[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like things are really good with this guy — except that some of your friends are shallow and insult his appearance. I think you should get some new friends. 😉

[Sally]

I’m going to be honest with you, but gently. Wanting him back doesn’t automatically mean he can come back. You ended the relationship because you didn’t feel safe or secure in it. That mattered then, and it still matters now. Missing him doesn’t erase the reasons you broke up.

What you’re seeing now his warmth when you show care, him saying you still matter doesn’t necessarily mean he wants the relationship again. It means there was real history and real affection. Those don’t just disappear. But affection is not the same as choosing to try again.

Right now, the more you push or try to convince him, the more he’ll pull away. If there’s any chance at all, it only comes from respecting that he says he’s moved on and giving him space to actually feel your absence.

Love doesn’t vanish overnight, that’s true. But love alone isn’t enough to rewind time. Focus on becoming calm, grounded, and okay on your own again. If he ever looks back, it’ll be because he sees strength not desperation.

I know that’s not the answer you want. But it’s the one that protects your heart.

[Member]

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