[sunshine7]

I’m really needing some advice here. My fiance and I have been together for 3 years. The whole time we have been together I have paid for the bills. This was something that was discussed during our entire relationship, he knew and I knew it. I told him from the beginning that I didn’t want someone to take care of and that I did wanted a partner. He just started giving me a little bit of money a month in the last few months. I feel that this isn’t fair. I make more money then him, but I have always worked hard for everything. He has to pay child support and he just bought a new car that I was not happy about at all. I felt very disrespected that he bought a brand new car for $500 a month, but can’t meet me half way with the living expenses. I’ve always told him that I want a partner not a someone to take care of. He’s moving out …….did I make the right choice? I know he loves me, but there’s more to a relationship then just love. I’ll be 32 this year and want kids and want a partner that can meet me half way. Did I do the right thing by breaking it off?
I’m not trying to gain monetary profit I’m more then capable of support myself. But, I don’t think that it’s right that he has no desire to better his financial situation and relies on me to support him. I travel for work and I would like to have children and once I do, he would have to pick up the slack. I don’t see that happening. I do love him and he’s a good person. But when your fronting the bill majority of the time it gets old and you start to feel used.
I don’t know why I feel bad for taking a stand for myself? Am I wrong for wanting him to step it up?

[kai]

Hey SunShine7,

I’ve told this to several other people who have posted questions here: the welcome area [b]IS NOT for questions[/b] and [u]should not[/u] be used to get advice. 😮

it says “DO NOT post your questions” here, when you go to sign up. 😳

Please [b]repost your question in the Q & A Relationship Advice Forum[/b] .

[color=#FF0000]you won’t get a response to your question here[/color] — this is the welcome area. 😀

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Let me know how things are going for you? 😉

[Sally]

You were clear from the start. You didn’t want to be someone’s safety net. You wanted a partner. Three years in, he still wasn’t meeting you halfway, but somehow found room in his budget for a brand-new car. That would’ve hit me the same way it hit you. It’s not about the money. It’s about priorities and effort.
Love matters, yeah. But love without responsibility turns into resentment. Especially when you’re thinking about kids, travel, and the future. You’re not asking for luxury. You’re asking for balance.

You feel bad because you care and because you’re used to being the strong one. Standing up for yourself can feel mean when you’re not used to it.
But choosing peace and partnership doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you honest.

[Member]

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