[terriblytorn13]

My fiance is a stay at home Dad. In my opinion and the opinions of others he should be doing more around the house. He also refuses to get involved in our finances but spends recklessly. Worst of all he is ungreatful and I feel like I get little to no credit for what I do for our family. I’m trying to hang in there but the lack of respect and sense of responsibility are wears me down. What can I do to help make it better? I’m not saying I’m perfect I need to work harder too but I’d like to get credit for woking full time and trying to help take care of the house and our boys.

[kai]

I notice that you have placed your question in the forum for Guest Writers and Advice Column Contributors.

[b]This is not in the forum where April answers readers questions. [/b]

If you want to get a response from April, please repost your question in the proper forum, the Q & A Advice Forum:
https://www.askapril.com/forums/viewforum.php?f=1

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

Let me know how things are going for you? 😉

[Sally]

What’s happening isn’t that you’re b*tchy. It’s that you feel unseen and taken for granted, and that turns into anger when it sits too long. Anyone working full time, helping with the house, and carrying the mental load would feel the same way.

You can’t fix this by just being nicer. You’ve already tried that. What’s missing is a real conversation about roles, money, and appreciation, not chores. If he’s staying home, that needs to come with responsibility, not just presence. And refusing to be involved in finances while spending freely is not okay. That’s not partnership.

Pick a calm moment and tell him exactly this: you’re exhausted, you feel disrespected, and you’re starting to resent him and you don’t want to live like that. Not as an attack, but as truth.
And one more thing stop waiting for credit silently. Say out loud what you’re carrying. If he still doesn’t step up, that tells you something important you shouldn’t ignore.

[Member]

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