[Anonymous]

I’ve never done anything like this before- but I am hoping maybe there is someone else out there who is in the same boat as me?!

I’m a young woman in my mid-twenties and feel as though I have permanently placed myself in a “friend zone” with anyone I meet. I have never had a boyfriend 🙁 .. I try to be-friend people and connect on topics of interest to make a connection in hopes of anything progressing… but I think that first step has put me in that permanent friend zone because I cannot be seen as sexy.

I say this as a concern because I have have not had sex at this point. I have had late-night rendezvous with men but never let it go as far as having sex with someone. The purpose of this post is to ask that I have now found someone I am ready to become physically active with. He is older than I am, and I do not want to look inexperienced as he has had more parners than I have. I am very ready to have sex, but do not want to scare him away by telling him that I am a virgin. Do you have any advice as to how I can advance our relationship physically? Is there anyway I can practice so that our first time will be more natural?

Any help would be appreciated! Thank you very much for your time and reading this post 🙂

[crazed-driver]

I’m more or less exactly in the same position as you, only that’s the reason why I’m single. How old are you?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The best way to not freak out about the first time is to not make it a performance issue — which goes for men and women. Intimacy isn’t just about sex. It’s about sharing feelings and experiences with each other, and the more intimacy you build with this guy, the easier having sex for the first time will be. So focus on growing close to him, not on having sex with him.

At some point before you have sex you should definitely tell him that you’re a virgin. There is nothing to be ashamed of — everyone has been one at one time! In fact, it’s much better to be honest about things so that his expectations aren’t different than what they might be, and your feeling of pressure to do things “correctly” (which doesn’t exist!) isn’t overwhelming.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and join me on Facebook! I’d love to have you there. Here’s the link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Member]

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