[Alfie]

sorry ive rambled on – its not as bad as it looks – promise! :L And i’ll try and break it down!

[b]Our Background:[/b]
We’ve been friends for 4 years, since we were 15.
She’s completely stunning, smart, hilarious. Flip side she’s also a bit self destructive & a massive flirt.
We’re close. She hasn’t really got anyone else, her mum died when she was 13, her dads a waste of space. She acts so tough to everyone but me.
She jumps from guy to guy, most are just a one night thing, she never really gives a sh*t about them.

She calls me like sexy or gorgeous all the time and shes very touchy feeley but then like I said shes a flirt and I don’t read too much into that.

What I do read into is the fact that its me she comes too with her latest disaster, its me that she sat up with all night talking about like her childhood and her parents and stuff and shes not the most reliable person in the world but when I really need her, shes there.
She’s there at my boxing or football matches & my family events so its not like its totally one-sided – well i dont think it is!
That to me has gotta mean she likes me somewhat cause all those things are dead out of character for her.

Plus the other thing is she said to me once that she dosen’t like cuddling after sex. Well she said “im like lets ****, then go to your side of the bed and dont touch me!”
But when she stays at mine she’ll always sleep proper cuddled up to me – so whats that about??

[b]ANYWAY, to the present day:[/b] the few times I’ve tried to bring up the fact that I’d like more than friends she just interrupts me along the lines of:
“You think i fool around with other guys cause I like them more than you but i barely like them at all but I love you. But I would **** it up cause thats what I always do, im reckless, and i cant lose you Alfie cause your the one person who actually gives a **** and I know that’s completely unreasonable & selfish but I am. You save me from myself time after time – your the story book hero alfie, your my storybook hero alfie, your selfless but Im the complete opposite im all about me”. And then like a switch completely changes the subject. 🙄
/

Then other day we were sitting by the lake having a beer & for like the first time ever she brought it up like “the thing is im jinxed Alfie. And I can hear myself say that too, I know how pathetic it sounds but like you know that skittles advert? the one with the bloke and everything he touches turns to skittles – Im like that guy alfie! That’s what I do! Thats why I cant go out with you””
So I just went are you trying to tell me you’d turn me to skittles or that your actually a slightly over weight, middle aged, black man and you just hide it real well?! 😉
And she laughed and was like “damn ! got me!” and we just messed about like that for a bit and that was it!

I just dunno what to do? i love her and i know we could work together and i dont think the reasons she gives are good enough to not give us a shot at that! I dont know how to make her see that? I practically play the bf but she freaks out about the label?

And most people i know think shes a lost cause but, this sounds stupid, but they really DONT know her like I do! They just see the act. Plus i cant walk away cause i swore id never leave her and the thing is ive had plenty of girls ask us out (catch that i am 😉 ) and some of them ive took out and there nice & sweet & uncomplicated but there not her! And if we dated im sure it would nice & sweet and uncomplicated but there’d always be second best and thats not fair!
Cause i dont completely wear rose tinted glasses, i see that she can be grumpy & that she can be a **** and she can drive me completely bonkers but when im with her we just click – not like when im with other girls – she makes me do stuff id never do otherwise – she rocks my world! And after that nice & sweet & uncomplicated just dosent cut it!

But im lost? I dont know what to do anymore!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you want to get out of the friend zone, then all you have to do is to stop being her friend. 😉 It’s that simple. Stop hanging out and being there for her as a friend, and start asking her out on real dates and being a boyfriend. If she wants to date you, then you’ll know because she’ll accept the dates, and if she doesn’t, then you’ll know she’s not interested.

I hope that helps!

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Alfie]

Thanks, I get that! But like whats a ‘real date’? Cause if i like asked her to dinner with me or something i dont think she’d think anything of that – we do it sometimes anyway!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Tell her you’d like to invite her on a date. Use the word date in the sentence. Make the date somewhere you haven’t been before — a restaurant that’s a little fancier than usual, or a show or a concert — something special. Show up at her door looking better than you usually do. Wear something special and smell great! Bring her flowers when you pick her up, and when you bring her home, if the evening went well, kiss her goodnight. There will be no mistaking the evening for anything other than a date. 😉

YOU have to do things differently if you want to get out of the friend zone, so everything, from here on in, is going to be as if you’re someone who’s trying to win her over — not a friend. 😉

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Alfie]

Okay, will do! Thanks! 😀

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome. 😀

[b]Check out my new FB Fan Page!! And If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” me — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

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