[mattdee]

Hi April

I’m hoping you can give me your honest opinions and thoughts….

I’m 25 and I was with my ex for three years and she ended it 18 months ago. The sex life between us was awful and she was never interested in having it and used to make excuses up. She became distant and ended it.

Last week I saw her at a wedding and couldn’t believe the girl I saw. She’s only very petite and 5’3 and she had breast implants and was incredibly toned and looked so different. She was on the arm of a 6’8 very well built black man, he was massive and towered over everyone. I’m 5’7 and skinny and he was so imposing compared to how small she is.

She told her female friends that the sex with him is incredible and although its taken a while to get used to him she can’t get enough of the daily sex they have; they were all over each other and left the wedding early. She also said he’d bought her the implants as a gift .

Aside from her implants, considering she was always very against having implants when she was with me, how can she change into a girl obsessed with sex with her boyfriend? Is it because he’s much bigger than me in height and weight etc and she enjoys it more now with him?

Thank you

[AskApril Masini]

You’re asking questions that only she can answer — and the truth is that she’s your past. It’s always interesting to see an ex after some time has passed, but it’s important to stay focused on what you want for yourself. 🙂 My advice is to not worry or think too much about why she’s changed, or what she’s doing with her life now, and focus on you and what you want for yourself. 😉

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[mattdee]

Thanks for replying April

I know I need to move on, but to help me get my head around things with her could you give me your opinions…she was always vocal about not wanting a boob job, but she now has, as a gift from her boyfriend; I earn minimal wage whereas he’s a successful businessman so he could afford to pay for them, would that have played a part in her decision to get them done?

With the sex she was my first sexual partner, whereas she’d been with much older guys previous to me. Her boyfriend is 15 years older than her, do you think her lack of sex with me was because I wasn’t very good, whereas he’s experienced?

I’m unfit and very skinny and he is massive and pacled with muscle and physically fit, do girls prefer to have a sexual partner more like how he is?

Finally, she never used to want to live with me, and she earned more than me, but she’s now living with him and has cut her hours down and spends her days enjoying herself with him and they’re trying for a baby…is a successful guy more appealing to an ambitiuos girl like she is?

[AskApril Masini]

Okay, let’s go there, then.

[quote]I earn minimal wage whereas he’s a successful businessman so he could afford to pay for them, would that have played a part in her decision to get them done?[/quote]

Yes. If her successful boyfriend offers to pay for her plastic surgery, then that very well may have been a factor in her decision to get breast augmentation. Maybe she fell madly in love with him, and while it wasn’t a big deal for her to have large breasts, he liked them, and she wanted to please him, and he was paying, so she had the surgery. People do things for each other when they’re in love, and she may have had the surgery for him, if not for herself. Or maybe she had it for her and for him.

[quote]With the sex she was my first sexual partner, whereas she’d been with much older guys previous to me. Her boyfriend is 15 years older than her, do you think her lack of sex with me was because I wasn’t very good, whereas he’s experienced?[/quote]

If you weren’t very good at sex, and he is, then she’s probably more sexually satisfied with him. But experience doesn’t necessarily mean someone’s better at something — whether it’s driving or sex. You can meet a terrible driver who’s been licensed and driving for decades, and who just isn’t as good a driver as someone who only has one or two years experience. The same goes for sex. Good sex has to do with communicating and wanting to please the other person, as much as it has to do with wanting pleasure for yourself, so while it could be that he’s better at sex, just because he’s older and more experienced doesn’t mean he is. However…. if you’re sure you weren’t good in bed with her, then that could have been a factor. The good news is that you can get better at sex with attentiveness, practice and open-mindedness. 🙂

[quote]Finally, she never used to want to live with me, and she earned more than me, but she’s now living with him and has cut her hours down and spends her days enjoying herself with him and they’re trying for a baby…is a successful guy more appealing to an ambitiuos girl like she is?[/quote]

Women like successful men, in general. Of course, success is measured differently by different people. You could be the most amazing, prize-winning poet ever, and be poor, but celebrated. You’d be successful, career-wise, but not financially. Some men are successful financially, but insecure sexually and they don’t always get the girl because they’re not confident, which is a big draw for women. As you know, lots of women are with men who make less money than other men, and there are lots of different reasons they’re with these men — from great senses of humor, to shared life goals — so she may not have wanted to live with you because she was looking for a man who was more financially stable with whom she could marry and have a baby, and it just wasn’t the right time in your life to be that guy for her. 😉

I hope that helps, and that you can use the information to move forward in your own life, and be the guy you’d like to be, even if it means making some changes. 🙂

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