[Jettagliturbo1]

If I COULD GET YOUR ANALYSIS ON THIS Ms. April. I AM LOSING MY MIND OVER THIS=
AND CAN’T afford a psychologist and want your opinion. Ok so here is my si=
tuation. I have explained my relationship then described myself and her. I =
want to know 2 things. First, What do you make of it and what she is thinki=
ng now and second, after describing her personality and character, would yo=
u seriously date her? Not hook up, but, would you desire to be her boyfrien=
d. Thank You. So I have known this girl for 3 years. Our first break happen=
ed March 2014. we went on a break for 4 months and then got back together i=
n July 2014. This time, we broke up in November for 10 months. We began spe=
aking this past September and I have been much, much better. We initially w=
ent on a break because a few things, immaturity, inexperienced, handled sit=
uations wrong, but it was mainly my aggression. My mother passed away from =
cancer, I had rough times. It has been much better since September but she =
said I was very aggressive at the end of the night on January 5th. January =
5th is our anniversary. I drove her to work in the morning, went and picked=
flowers, hand arranged them, returned to her work with 2 vases of flowers.=
I picked her up that evening and we had a great conversation on my way to =
drop her off home. I gave her a cute big teddy bear. I had one for me to th=
ink of her and gave her one for her to remember me. I thought all was well.=https://relationshipadviceforum.com/images/icons/ravaio/heart75.png
She ignored me for the next few weeks then google hangouts me, “YOU WERE s=
till very aggressive towards the end of that last night.” I do not know wha=
t she is talking about. All I know is, I have not argued with her at all, t=
hese 5 months. The first break and breakup, we would argue a lot, I would r=
aise my voice. This time, I eliminated that. I have done better everytime w=
e got back together. I improved myself and gained more control over myself =
and my emotions. It seems like nothing is enough or good enough for her. I =
google hangout her heart felt messages but she never responds. She reads th=
em, MIND YOU, SHE READS THEM, but never responds. I have done nothing but s=
hown consistently progress and growth. It is not perfect but much better. N=
ot good enough? wtf I am so much better than most men. I never avoid talkin=
g about marriage, I talk about it everyday. I show her what she means to me=
. I never forget important dates, if anything, she does. She and I have not=
spoken much at all. She recently sent me a text that I would like to get y=
our opinion on. “I don’t want to be harsh, but I just don’t see a future fo=
r us…at least at this stage in our lives…You till have a lot of growing=
to do…and I know you are working on that….and that is great….I think=
you should focus on that and I’m gonna focus on me.” She is turning 36 in =
March and recently lost her position of a little over 2 years so, I think s=
he is seeing I am not financially stable still and yet and she lost her pos=
ition, is thinking about her future, career and life. What she has accompli=
shed so far. I do not know why we can not work on our lives together. I don=
‘t get this, I am in love with her and show her off to the world and get th=
is hmmm

HER: 36, in great shape, athlete,healthy eater, only eats seafood, =
does not drink, does not smoke, makes allowances for my ways, hoarder, live=
s with mom, ocd, does not cook, clean, will not drive anywhere other than w=
ork, cheap, has certain issues.

Myself: 28, super healthy, Vegetarian, anim
al rights activist, great body an face, super social, great personality, super sensitive, never drinks or smokes, big dick, sexually loyal and basically a virgin when I met her. Did nothing with other women for the 14 months we were apart, R&B singer and dancer, animal lover, athlete, personal trainer, super loyal, r=
omantic, loving, dedicated, super in love with her, thoughtful, paid for ev=
erything in 3 years, pay for her cell phone bill, would drive an hour each =
way to take her to work once a week or so, just to get to spend more time w=
ith her, always bring her flowers, surprises, things she likes, food, when =
I pick her up from work. Show her everyday how much she means to me. I am w=
orking on my career but do not have a solid career yet.

My Official fan page.

[AskApril Masini]

[quote] I = want to know 2 things. First, What do you make of it and what she is thinking now and second, after describing her personality and character, would you seriously date her? [/quote]

I don’t know why you had 3 break ups in 3 years — you only described one break up reason (she felt you were too aggressive) — but 3 breakups in 3 years is an indication that this isn’t a long-term relationship that’s going to be successful. Also, the first break was for 4 months. The second break was for 10 months (that’s a long time!), and now you’ve got the third break. It also sounds like she doesn’t want to get back together right now and her interest in your financial stability is understandable, without passing any judgment. Many women of her age (36) want to get married and have kids, and they’re looking for situations where that would be viable. If you’re financially unstable, you may not be compatible with what she wants. No judgment, just explaining her thought process.

I think that when you keep going back to someone who is clearly incompatible, it’s because you’re not getting out there in the dating world, for whatever reason, and looking for a compatible love. Finding someone to love is different than finding someone to love, share life goals and lifestyle goals, and with whom you have enough compatibility to make a long-term, committed relationship work.

I hope that helps! 🙂 Let me know if you have any more questions.

[Jettagliturbo1]

Thank You for your response. I just checked it now. What do I make of it and what she is thinking? What do you mean? Would I seriously date her? Yes. I have been in love with her since the day we met. I did not have sex with anyone else for the 3 times we were/are apart. I would marry her in a heart beat, instantly but I am NOT SURE OTHER MEN WOULD. I have always taken care of her in some way. Buy her food, bring her food, bring her nice gifts, take her to work, pay for dinner everytime, pay her cell phone bill for the past 3 years. I have never, ONCE asked for a dollar from her. I will be making 10,000 a month in a few months. I have my goal, plan and my straight vision. It will become my reality whether or not she is around for it. After describing her personality, OCD, hoarding, cheapness, problems, issues, does that sound like someone who should have kids? No, probably not. We are very much compatible. I make allowances and understand her issues and frustrating habits and she does mine. I truly do not feel, any other man who has what I have and the love I have for her, will put up with 10% of what I have put up from her for the past 3 years. I know one thing, No man is this world, at least not one who looks like me, has my talents, heart, mind, etc, will ever care about her, this relationship, be as dedicated, committed and overall, in love with her. For those two times apart and this one, I never had sex or did anything with other women, I was in California for half a year and all I could think about was her, I still payed her cell phone and still do. A man like me, I do not feel she will find or ever be able to locate. What do you feel? Most men nowadays, just want sex or casual relations, right? A man will only be her serious boyfriend or propose to her if, he falls in love with her? Not for sex or bs, right? Give me your insight on this part. Thank You and could you email me instead Ms. Masini?

BTW, this is me. That is how I look.

[Jettagliturbo1]

BTW, thank you and after you answer my reply above, please be so kind to tell me, what you think I should do or definitely not do. Thank You and God bless you.

Sincerely, Daniel

[AskApril Masini]

I think you should move on and find someone who wants to be with you. 😉

[Jettagliturbo1]

You are a relationship advice expert? That is what you say? I appreciate your time and feedback but you do not have anything else to say? What do you feel I should do? I am in love with her and always will be. She says “I don’t see a future for us, at least not at this stage of our lives.” That is showing empathy, feeling we won’t work at this time, she is confused, does not fully know. That does not show straight up, “I don’t want to be with you.” You did not comment or analyze any of what I wrote. I wrote my character description and hers. Can you comment on that? Give me something. What is your advice? MOVING ON IS NOT ADVICE. I know, no one will love her as much as I do. Be sexually loyal 3 times when she walked out of my life and the relationship and still pay for her phone bill the whole time. Hmmm…

[Jettagliturbo1]

You are a relationship advice expert? That is what you say? I appreciate your time and feedback but you do not have anything else to say? What do you feel I should do? I am in love with her and always will be. She says “I don’t see a future for us, at least not at this stage of our lives.” That is showing empathy, feeling we won’t work at this time, she is confused, does not fully know. That does not show straight up, “I don’t want to be with you.” You did not comment or analyze any of what I wrote. I wrote my character description and hers. Can you comment on that? Give me something. What is your advice? MOVING ON IS NOT ADVICE. I feel GOD ordained us to be together. I will not look for anything. If GOD brings it to me, as he brought her, he destined for her and I to meet, then he shall. If not, I will not go and seek it. In Jesus Name!!! I know, no one will love her as much as I do. Be sexually loyal 3 times when she walked out of my life and the relationship and still pay for her phone bill the whole time. Hmmm…[/quote]

[Preeti26]

Hi,

exactly the same situation ….me too..ca we talk..may be i can give you a good advice

[AskApril Masini]

I’m sorry you don’t agree with the advice. Sometimes that happens. This is a free advice site, and you’re welcome to take my advice or decide not to. 😉

[Preeti26]

hey yes this is a free site but fst try to understand the whole scenario of any relatioship than only advice.

[Jettagliturbo1]

My agreement is not the issue here. I have gotten much, much more in depth analysis and depth from others. Others who were right in their feeling on the relationship and what will occur. Remember, this is the third time we stopped talking. The first was bad, I was going through hard times, I lost my mother from Cancer. I expected from a relationship advice professional, you would have more to say. Psychologist friends of mine and marriage counselors, definitely did.

[AskApril Masini]

I’m sorry. I can’t help you any more.

Good luck. 😉

[Jettagliturbo1]

You are an idiot.

[AskApril Masini]

Name calling is not productive and you don’t seem to really want to do any relationship work or consider other advice — you just want people to agree with you and side with you. That’s not how life works — as you know because the relationship you have with this woman you’ve written about, isn’t working. If you calm down and read this string of comments you will see that you do not have much patience or tolerance for people who don’t share your opinions. 😳 And, you have a temper and a penchant for aggression. You could have disagreed with me, without reverting to name calling. This is something you might want to work on. 😉

I have suggested you move on from your girlfriend who is not interested in being with you — and now, I’m suggesting you move on from this site, where your comments are not appreciated or useful.

Good luck to you, my friend.

[Sally]

She’s already emotionally gone. Not angry, not dramatic, just… done. When someone keeps saying you need to grow and won’t talk it through, that usually means they’ve already decided they don’t want to try anymore. It doesn’t mean you didn’t grow. It means your growth came too late for where her heart is now.

As for whether I’d seriously date her? Honestly… no. Not because she’s a bad person, but because the dynamic feels uneven and exhausting. You’re pouring everything in, trying to prove your worth, and she’s holding the door half-closed. That kind of love never feels calm. It feels like auditioning.

I know you love her. But love isn’t supposed to feel like chasing someone who keeps pulling away. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself is stop trying to convince someone to see you.

[Member]

Posts