[adama2012]

A girl I’ve known for about a year asked me if i wanted to join her for drinks with friends. I couldn’t at that time but 2 weeks later I texted her to say I was at a bar with friends and would she like to join us. It was admittedly a little late at night so she said no but maybe next weekend. I’m in bed the following weekend and get a text from her saying she’s at the bar and to come up. I had work the next day so I had to say no. For the next few weekends we both had different things on so we couldn’t meet up. Over the last week I spoke to her a few times and she seemed quite distant whenever I talked to her and talking to me seemed to be the last thing she wanted to do. But when I asked if she had any plans for the weekend she did say she may be free Friday. I texted her Friday to see if she wanted to meet. She said she was meeting a friend for drinks and to come along for a drink. The tone of her msg seemed a little off and i didn’t know her friend so I said I’d leave her to it. She texted back explaining who her friend was and to come up. When I get to the bar she seems quite disinterested(looking around and playing with phone,etc) and I end up mostly talking to her friend. When I get to talk to her by herself she is still disinterested so I asked her if everything’s ok between us, etc. she says its fine. So i eventually ask her if she wants to do something together some other night because this is a little awkward. She started to explain how she’s had two bad break ups and doesn’t think shes ready and either she’ll get hurt or I will, etc. (I should also mention it has been about 6 months since her break up) It was really loud in the bar so it was a difficult conversation to have and she said she’d like to explain properly another time. At this stage her friend wants to go to a club so she asks me if i wanted to go. After that conversation I thought it best to decline thinking she probably doesn’t really want me there. My friend thinks she did want me to go and thinks I should keep trying with her. I’ve had my share of unwanted attention and really don’t want to subject a girl to that so I’m really not sure if she just needs a push or if I should just leave her be! I’m also curious as to why people think she’d ask me out in the first place if she isn’t ready to date. Any advice would be appreciated and sorry for the lengthy description!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you want to ask a woman out on a date, asking her out the same day, doesn’t show her that you’re really that interested. It shows her that she’s a last minute, convenient, afterthought. 😳 If you want her to know that she’s someone you’re really interested in, then ask her out a week in advance, and make the time and place specific, so it looks like you put some thought into doing something nice for her because you care. 😉

If she says no, then move on. If she says yes, then you’ll have an opportunity to get to know her further. 😀

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Member]

Posts