[SweetHeartPopTart]

I met a guy about a week ago and really like him a lot.
He’s honestly my own personal perfect/dream guy, he’s polite by nature, pulls out chairs, holds open doors, but he’s still willing to wrestle around with me and just have fun.
Anyways, I told my “friend” I really liked him a lot and so she told me she’d try and help him notice me more kind of, and she went and slept with him. The thing is, this isn’t th first time she’s done this but this time I actually wanted to claw her eyes out. I’m not a jealous girl, especially over a guy I’m not even with so it felt weird being jealous over him.
Well, she’s moving in about a month and he likes her now and she’s totally toying and screwing with his mind which pisses me off so much more.
I’ve talked to a coupe friends about it and one of my guy friends says it’s HIS fault but I blame her. I haven’t told him I like him and now I can’t get him out of my head and for the first time in about 5 years and actually only the second time I’ve felt this strongly about a guy so soon, he gives me not just butterflies but my heart goes loco, my mind can’t focus and I literally feel like those girls feel in those romantic movies. I’m so confused and frustrated because I space out constantly and just want nothing more then to see him. I’ve never loved the way a guy smelled but all I want to do is be surrounded by his smell.
Am I going crazy? I’ve only felt like this once before and that guy became my first love.
Should I just forget him or go after him?

[adama2012]

It’s hard to say who’s to blame and if you should go after him without knowing how you two interact. Were you guys flirting, etc before your friend slept with him? Essentialy did it look like you two were going to hook up? If so then I’d probably move on if i were you.
If it’s the case you secretly liked him but didn’t do anything about it or maybe sent mixed signals then I’d find it hard to blame him. I’m a guy btw and we can be pretty lame at reading signals sometimes so he may have thought he didn’t have a chance with you, etc. It’s only spectulation though. If you can give any info about how you met and what kind of relationship you have it will help in advising you.

[AskApril Masini]

First of all, she’s made it clear — she’s not your friend. Her behavior isn’t friendly behavior, and you now know you can’t trust her. So don’t. 😉 If you continue to befriend her and hang around with her, you’re going to become angry and frustrated, so don’t. You have choices — choose to find a better friend. 🙂

As for this guy, if you like him, flirt with him, and let him know you’re interested. Dating is competitive, and he’s only dated her a week, so it’s not like you’re going after a guy who’s got a girlfriend. 😉

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[SweetHeartPopTart]

So I’ve been kind of seeing this guy for about a month now, he’s super sweet and polite and I just adore him. We talk for almost all day when we talk and we’re not at work. He literally goes out of his way to come see me too, if he’s just passing through town he makes sure he stops by and see’s me. Now we’ve both talked and he has a couple legal issues which may include him going back to jail for a few months and he doesn’t want to get in a relationship right now because when he was in jail the first time his at the time girlfriend ended up letting the guy she was cheating with live with her and he went to see her and saw the other guy sleeping on her couch so he really doesn’t want to worry about whether I’m going to cheat or not. He knows me and knows I’m not one to do that but he’s still afraid and I can understand that he wants to wait till everything is squared away.

What I’m wondering is, what are a couple real good ways to just wow him?
I’m wondering because I think he likes me but I don’t know, other guys I can read easily but with him I can’t read him very well, I can’t figure out what’s going on inside his head and it makes me nervous but makes me want him even more. And I guess I’m curious how can I figure out whats going on inside his head without asking him?

Thank you

[AskApril Masini]

Going BACK to jail? 😯

There are so many other men you can date who have never served time. What crimes did he commit to get the first sentence and then this one, too?

You’ve only been dating him a month, so you don’t have the same kind of attachment to him as you might if you’d been dating him longer, or had children with him — all of which make a break up that much easier — and in that one month, you’ve discovered what SHOULD be a deal breaker if you want a healthy and safe relationship. Unless, of course, you’ve served jail time, and the only way you can find a compatible match is to find someone else who’s also served a similar sentence….

But if you haven’t, you really need to get focused on your future and what you want for yourself. Imagine having children with this guy, if you want children, or if he does. Think about it…. and you’ll understand that you can and should do better. 😉

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[SweetHeartPopTart]

He went to jail because he had stolen a car the first time. The second time when he after he got out of jail for stealing the car he came home and found his girl had a new guy and so he was feeling kind of suicidal and so he stole her new guys car and crashed it doing 110 and was sentenced for that.

In a way though him and I’ve connected with it because I’ve been dealing with depression since I was 5 because of sexual abuse when I was 5. I was suicidal when I was a teen and though am no longer depressed I know how it feels so I understand. Also he was upfront about the possibility of going back to jail and I’ve accepted it.

I personally did do things when I was in my teens that would cause me to do jail time but was never caught for any of it. It was just kid stuff really and I realise now what I did was wrong and no longer do any of those things. I also know the jail life kind of thing because of some of my old friends who had gone to jail so I know the deal.

He’s honestly the sweetest guy I’ve met in a long time that wasn’t in twice my age. He opens doors for me, pulls out my chair, is extremely polite and one of the first guys my mom and my brothers like. He makes me feel good about things, with him around I’m not self conscious and I feel really great about myself. I do usually but it’s so effortless with him, when I spend time with him days go back so fast yet so slow. I’m getting butterflies in my stomach for the first time.

I know he’s made mistakes and so have I, he’s willing to look past mine I feel I owe him the same.

[AskApril Masini]

Because you have a history of depression, sexual abuse and suicidal feelings it’s very important that YOU get healthy yourself before you start dating. 😉 You can’t be in a healthy relationship unless YOU’RE healthy. And judging from what you wrote, you’re not. Not yet. 😳

Here’s why: If you think that this guy is “sweet” and “polite” to the extent that you’re ignoring grand theft auto, [u]twice[/u], 😯 and impulse control problems that led him to drive 110 mph in a stolen car that he crashed [u]and could’ve killed someone[/u], you’re not thinking clearly.You need to go back to the drawing board and take care of YOU 😀 😀 and your self-esteem. You deserve a lot better than a criminal with good manners who is dangerous. Imagine if you were in the car. Imagine if you were on the other end of his anger. Imagine if someone you love was. 😳 His mistakes do not compare to yours. Or mine. Or most other peoples’. His mistakes are serious and dangerous and you should move on. 😉

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